“What disturbs people’s minds is not events, but their judgments on events.”
In China, parents once bound the feet of their daughters in pursuit of beauty. In parts of Africa, both men and women elongate their earlobes and decorate their skin with minerals to look attractive, and this trend may be found in the United States now. At one time in this society, we found plump, rotund people to be the epitome of beauty.
Old movies show us that the Tarzans and Supermen of past decades would hardly pass muster in today’s gyms. Today we define beauty as a thin, youthful, and muscular look. Today we go under the knife and on extreme diets to achieve a socially acceptable appearance – not to mention tattoos and body piercing – all practices that are similar to the early Chinese custom of binding feet.
Although changes are taking place, strong social standards have dictated, especially through the media, how we should look – and if our own bodies deviate from these expectations, which is the case for almost all of us, we can feel inferior and ashamed. We hide. We cover up. We don’t like an important part of our selves. We feel depressed. We feel anxious in front of other people. We feel powerless – and we are apologetic when we show the world who we are.
Have you felt like you and your partner are more like roommates than intimate companions? Watching Netflix in your sweatpants while your partner plays a game on their cell phone sounds like a hot date, right?
There is not a lot about that scenario radiating romance. What it does portray is a mutual level of extreme comfort you and your partner have embraced.
Of course, nothing is wrong with feeling comfortable around your partner. Actually, you want to be comfortable with each other. But you also want to nurture the intimate connection you have and acting like roommates simply doesn’t do that.
If you feel stuck in the ‘roommate rut’, try these suggestions:
Many couples take the big step of moving in together without first considering the full ramification of the decision.
When you started dating, you most likely each had your own space to live. Now, though, you will be sharing a space together.
How you both communicate, resolve conflict, and deal with emotional and day-to-day stress are important considerations. That’s why it’s crucial to have several discussion about this big decision.
Consider these (12) questions:
It’s the one conversation that makes parents cringe and squirm: the sex talk.
It’s natural if you feel anxious about this and you can let your child know this if it happens. They too will probably feel awkward but if you keep calm and aren’t afraid of having this discussion, it will help them feel safer with you.
If you are finding yourself in this position, considering these ‘Do’s and Don’ts’ may help you handle the situation:
You may have heard the term “emotional affair.” Do you understand what it really means? Is it really ‘cheating’?
Consider the following:
Sex and sexual desire is a key part of many relationships. It provides a certain aspect of intimacy.
So, what happens when your partner’s sex drive differs from yours?
First, this doesn’t have to be an obstacle. Consider these tips to help you cope with this difference and still maintaining a healthy relationship.
Many couples consider premarital counseling as something for those who really don’t know what they want out of a marriage.
Yet, that is far from the truth. In reality, premarital counseling should be a prerequisite for any couple looking to get married.
How can it benefit and strengthen your relationship?
Porn has become a household subject within the past few decades. While most people aren’t sitting around the dinner table discussing it in detail, we are more aware of its existence now than ever. In fact, many people have invited porn into their lives “just for fun.”
Maybe you thought viewing a little action to “spice” up your own libido wouldn’t hurt anything. Now, you’re hooked. You can’t get enough.
When you first started watching porn you may not have intended for this to happen. As life plays out, though, it’s easy to see that porn is anything but harmless to a romantic relationship.
Is it fair that you have to work on your relationship alone? Many couple counselors would probably say no, it isn’t, but they would probably encourage you to consider the alternatives. For example, you can choose to stay stuck in a relationship stalemate, but then each of you lose the potential benefits that can come from the work that you do – for example, a healthier and more supportive commitment in your relationship. Or you can let the relationship end.
But working alone may not be a realistic option if the situation is unbearable or abusive or if you’re completely mismatched. However, if there is a chance that your relationship can work, it might be well worth it for you to keep trying until you have tried using all of your ideas. Otherwise, you may regret ending your relationship too soon, and this would be unfair to you.