Sex and sexual desire is a key part of many relationships. It provides a certain aspect of intimacy.
So, what happens when your partner’s sex drive differs from yours?
First, this doesn’t have to be an obstacle. Consider these tips to help you cope with this difference and still maintaining a healthy relationship.
Tip #1: Communicate Expectations to Your Partner
Communication is important for so many facets of a relationship. This includes intimacy.
Have honest conversations with each other about your expectations in the bedroom. And don’t just make it a one-time discussion. Revisit the issue frequently to make sure you both remain on the same page.
Hopefully, you had some of these discussions when you first started seeing each other. However, expectations can change over time. So it’s important to maintain an open dialogue.
Tip #2: Listen to Each Other’s Perspectives
Another important tip is to actively listen to each other. Keep an open mind and hold back from making prejudgments.
For instance, if you want to have more sex than your partner does, listen to their point of view. (You can make sure you heard them correctly by repeating back what you heard.) As with many aspects of a relationship, when couples actively listen, they have a better understanding of each other. This means that they can still respect one another while holding different points of view.
Tip #3: Refocus on the Relationship
Although what happens in the bedroom is important, it’s not all that’s important in a relationship. If the relationship isn’t healthy, then your sexual experience won’t be healthy either.
As mentioned above, you can start by communicating and listening. However, it may be necessary to get help with this from a professional therapist. A therapist can advise you on all aspects of the relationship, including intimacy.
Tip #4: Don’t Nag or Guilt-Trip Your Partner
If you are the one who wants to have more sex, don’t nag or guilt-trip your partner. Trying to convince your partner to have sex just isn’t sexy. It should be something that both of you enjoy equally together.
Otherwise, when your partner feels obligated to meet your wishes, it can be a huge turn-off. This, in turn, can create problems in other areas of your relationship over time. Resentment can build up between the two of you, which means the relationship will suffer.
Tip #5: Don’t Take It Personally
Again, if you are the partner who wants more sex, don’t take it personally if your partner doesn’t. Just because your partner doesn’t want to be intimate with you as often does not mean that they are rejecting you as a person.
Although sex is important, it’s not the only thing that defines your relationship. If you are struggling with this, maybe it’s time to start seeking fulfillment in other areas of the relationship, not just sex. There are a lot of other things you can discover about each other.
Tip #6: Try Alternative Forms of Intimacy
Sex and intimacy are two very different things. You can have one without the other. Therefore, if your sexual desires are different, why not find alternative forms of intimacy?
- Oral sex
- Manual stimulation
There are plenty of ways to be intimate that can be pleasing to the both of you.
Tip #7: Try Something New
If you are struggling to want to have sex, why not try something new? Routine and sex often lead to boredom and disinterest. Couples can avoid this by having an open mind and willing to try new things. Think of sex not just as a physical act, but as an experience shared by both of you.
Remember that new experiences can strengthen a relationship, whether it’s in or outside of the bedroom.
Even if your sex drives differ, it does not mean that your love for one another diminishes. However, it is important for couples to communicate freely and often about this issue. Moreover, couples need to listen to each other and be willing to try new things.
Ultimately, sex should be something that enhances your relationship, not the only thing that defines it.
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