So, you’ve cheated on your partner and are now struggling with the aftermath.
You have guilt and lots of other emotions swirling around inside you. In fact, there are two different parts of you telling you to do vastly different things.
On the one hand, you feel that you should tell your partner what happened and be honest. The other half says that you shouldn’t tell at all. In fact, you may have already convinced yourself that you will keep this hidden from your partner at all costs.
What you decide to do now will have great ramifications for your relationship in the future.
What should you do?
When a relationship is rocked by an affair, the betrayed partner is often the focus of attention. This is normal, since the hurt partner is traumatized.
In the immediate aftermath of the affair, addressing this partner’s anger, pain, shock and confusion is of paramount importance.
But if you have children they also feel the effects and need as much help coping with the painful situation as much as – or even more – than your partner needs.
So after your children learn about your affair, what can you do?
Note: The worst possible scenario you could face would be that your child becomes suicidal. At the end of this article are the Warning Signs of Childhood Depression including what actions you would need to take.
All couples argue. This is normal and an expected part of close relationships. How we conduct ourselves and how we respond to our partner can either enhance the relationship or put it at risk. Consider these guidelines for having constructive arguments with your partner:
After a divorce, you are faced with an unknown frontier. A shared future, once planned and full of possibilities for discovery and passion, is forever changed.
Perhaps your journey now feels scary and uncertain. You’re standing at the starting line again. Alone.
Do you feel as though you’ve lost a big piece of yourself or who you thought you were?
It is that feeling that makes self-care after a divorce so crucial for your mental and emotional healing.
When we commit to a relationship, we usually expect that our partner will have roughly the same level of emotional involvement that we have. Many of us hope to find a soul-mate, a partner who can share and understand our feelings and ways of thinking on an intensely personal level. Others don’t expect such an intense level of involvement and feel more comfortable maintaining personal privacy in the relationship.
Conflicts may arise when partners have different about how close they should become. One partner may feel emotionally stranded, feeling abandoned and craving more closeness, while the other partner may feel smothered or pressured into providing more of his or her emotional self than can possibly be given.
Drugs, alcohol, porn, food, gambling—addictions run the gamut. And unless you suffer from one, it can be difficult to know what you’re up against.
Use these five strategies to help your partner get their life back on track:
Only the lonely
Know the way I feel tonight
Only the lonely
Know this feeling ain’t right
– Roy Orbison
If you feel lonely, you’re not alone.
Loneliness is a subjective sense of isolation – a feeling of not being able to connect with other people, a sense of being apart. As humans, we feel the need to be with other people. We need to relate to others, to get involved in their lives, to work with them, and to express our emotions around other people. Our social needs are nearly as powerful as our other basic needs, like our needs for food, water, and shelter.
Researchers have studied the effects of birth order for nearly a century now, but learned only within the past few decades about the influence of birth order on our behavior and the nature of relationships with our partners. We now know that the strategies we learn in childhood for dealing with our parents and siblings has a lasting influence on our behavior, often in ways we barely recognize.
Do you find it easier to forgive others than yourself?
Are you able to accept others’ mistakes but not your own?
Practicing self-compassion can actually be very difficult. This is especially true if you learned as a child to care more about others, or if you have a hard time forgiving yourself.
Sex and sexual desire is a key part of many relationships. It provides a certain aspect of intimacy.
So, what happens when your partner’s sex drive differs from yours?
First, this doesn’t have to be an obstacle. Consider these tips to help you cope with this difference and still maintaining a healthy relationship.