Ready or not—your mother-in-law has moved in.
Of course, you already had a busy household with kids, activities, and work. Now a whole new dynamic is being added to the mix as you take on the role of caregiver for your relative.
This can either be a time of joy or dread, depending on your outlook.
However, it doesn’t have to be a negative experience. You can make this an opportunity to not only aid an aging parent, but also strengthen your family as well.
Consider some ideas for maintaining a peaceful coexistence when your mother-in-law moves in.
Have you felt like you and your partner are more like roommates than intimate companions? Watching Netflix in your sweatpants while your partner plays a game on their cell phone sounds like a hot date, right?
There is not a lot about that scenario radiating romance. What it does portray is a mutual level of extreme comfort you and your partner have embraced.
Of course, nothing is wrong with feeling comfortable around your partner. Actually, you want to be comfortable with each other. But you also want to nurture the intimate connection you have and acting like roommates simply doesn’t do that.
If you feel stuck in the ‘roommate rut’, try these suggestions:
Words that describe reconciliation include ‘repair’, ‘heal’, ‘fix’ ‘rebuild’ and ‘restore’.
Sometimes these terms even have a place at the international level, when two or more countries in conflict can find reconciliation after a war.
The same can be said for partners whose relationship has been rocked by an affair. “War” may seem to be a strong word to apply to this situation. But just as in war, infidelity involves people who have very different perspectives.
Despite having ongoing differences and difficulty, it is possible for couples to find forgiveness and reconcile after an affair.
Here’s how this can happen:
So, you’ve cheated on your partner and are now struggling with the aftermath.
You have guilt and lots of other emotions swirling around inside you. In fact, there are two different parts of you telling you to do vastly different things.
On the one hand, you feel that you should tell your partner what happened and be honest. The other half says that you shouldn’t tell at all. In fact, you may have already convinced yourself that you will keep this hidden from your partner at all costs.
What you decide to do now will have great ramifications for your relationship in the future.
What should you do?
All couples argue. This is normal and an expected part of close relationships. How we conduct ourselves and how we respond to our partner can either enhance the relationship or put it at risk. Consider these guidelines for having constructive arguments with your partner:
After a divorce, you are faced with an unknown frontier. A shared future, once planned and full of possibilities for discovery and passion, is forever changed.
Perhaps your journey now feels scary and uncertain. You’re standing at the starting line again. Alone.
Do you feel as though you’ve lost a big piece of yourself or who you thought you were?
It is that feeling that makes self-care after a divorce so crucial for your mental and emotional healing.
When we commit to a relationship, we usually expect that our partner will have roughly the same level of emotional involvement that we have. Many of us hope to find a soul-mate, a partner who can share and understand our feelings and ways of thinking on an intensely personal level. Others don’t expect such an intense level of involvement and feel more comfortable maintaining personal privacy in the relationship.
Conflicts may arise when partners have different about how close they should become. One partner may feel emotionally stranded, feeling abandoned and craving more closeness, while the other partner may feel smothered or pressured into providing more of his or her emotional self than can possibly be given.
Drugs, alcohol, porn, food, gambling—addictions run the gamut. And unless you suffer from one, it can be difficult to know what you’re up against.
Use these five strategies to help your partner get their life back on track:
Only the lonely
Know the way I feel tonight
Only the lonely
Know this feeling ain’t right
– Roy Orbison
If you feel lonely, you’re not alone.
Loneliness is a subjective sense of isolation – a feeling of not being able to connect with other people, a sense of being apart. As humans, we feel the need to be with other people. We need to relate to others, to get involved in their lives, to work with them, and to express our emotions around other people. Our social needs are nearly as powerful as our other basic needs, like our needs for food, water, and shelter.
Researchers have studied the effects of birth order for nearly a century now, but learned only within the past few decades about the influence of birth order on our behavior and the nature of relationships with our partners. We now know that the strategies we learn in childhood for dealing with our parents and siblings has a lasting influence on our behavior, often in ways we barely recognize.