When we commit ourselves to a relationship with another person, we rightly expect to experience a sense of fulfillment that we didn’t have before. Humans, as social beings, seem to have a universal desire to find a partner. Sexual attraction often serves as the motivator for making initial contact with the other person, and this is usually replaced over time with a deeper sense of commitment and intimacy.
It comes as a terrible disappointment to some people when the sexual phase of their relationship fails to lead in time to something deeper. The task, then, is to understand the forces which block the development of a deeper sense of intimacy – and to do something about it. Fortunately, with some work – and it’s often hard work – couples can learn to move into the stage of deeper sharing and more fulfillment in their relationships.
Have you felt like you and your partner are more like roommates than intimate companions? Watching Netflix in your sweatpants while your partner plays a game on their cell phone sounds like a hot date, right?
There is not a lot about that scenario radiating romance. What it does portray is a mutual level of extreme comfort you and your partner have embraced.
Of course, nothing is wrong with feeling comfortable around your partner. Actually, you want to be comfortable with each other. But you also want to nurture the intimate connection you have and acting like roommates simply doesn’t do that.
If you feel stuck in the ‘roommate rut’, try these suggestions:
Many couples take the big step of moving in together without first considering the full ramification of the decision.
When you started dating, you most likely each had your own space to live. Now, though, you will be sharing a space together.
How you both communicate, resolve conflict, and deal with emotional and day-to-day stress are important considerations. That’s why it’s crucial to have several discussion about this big decision.
Consider these (12) questions:
The simple answer to this question is ‘No’. In most cases money can’t buy true happiness. It seldom if ever makes a bad relationship good, nor can it improve intimacy in a relationship. People with the highest incomes often have to work long hours, and many of them quit these jobs and find work that brings them greater life satisfaction.
Once we adapt to higher incomes, it can soon lose its appeal. After a promotion and higher salary, a person often feels greater life satisfaction and happiness but in less than about three months, the higher salary can lose its impact on happiness levels.
Most people seek a life filled with meaning, contentment, gratification, and pleasure. We strive to reach society’s milestones of success – a college graduation; marriage; family; job promotion; buying a home – but these achievements don’t always bring us the happiness we expected. And although we’re successful by world standards – able to drive nice cars, live in large, clean houses, and have access to entertainment – many of us still experience higher levels of stress.
Pushing ourselves to achieve ‘bigger and better’, we reach another goal only to find that it too doesn’t bring us the happiness we hoped for. We discover that money doesn’t buy us the happiness we thought it could. Sometimes this cycle leaves us feeling just the opposite – depressed or anxious or angry. However, recent research has focused on how a person can work toward a happier life.