Many people search for that special intimacy in their relationship. Some of us search our entire lives for a feeling of oneness with another person. It’s hard to describe, really, what we search for, but we know it when we finally achieve it. Maybe we tire of that dark feeling of being alone as we struggle through life. If only there were someone else here, we say to ourselves, who could understand and share these burdens. Then it wouldn’t be so lonely. It wouldn’t be so hard.
All of us have been hurt, in one way or another, by someone else. While it is easy to forgive a friend for note returning our phone call, it is not so easy to forgive those who have harmed us in a major way. The greatest hurts seem to come from those who play the most significant roles in our lives.
The enormity of the hurt may lead us to conclude that we can never forgive the other person. However, to forgive or not forgive is one of our most important life choices. It is vital for our own emotional well-being to understand that it is a choice that has consequences.
A first pregnancy is a significant psychological and emotional milestone in the lives of the new parents and often in their families’ lives. But a new arrival can have a “good news – bad news” effect. For instance, the news of a pregnancy can afford family members an opportunity to reconnect and strengthen family bonds if they live far apart. Or, if family relationships are strained, perhaps differences can be temporarily put aside. Plus members of one or both families have a chance to join in a sense of purpose or if they need to have a reason for being together, now they do.
Is it fair that you have to work on your relationship alone? Many couple counselors would probably say no, it isn’t, but they would probably encourage you to consider the alternatives. For example, you can choose to stay stuck in a relationship stalemate, but then each of you lose the potential benefits that can come from the work that you do – for example, a healthier and more supportive commitment in your relationship. Or you can let the relationship end.
But working alone may not be a realistic option if the situation is unbearable or abusive or if you’re completely mismatched. However, if there is a chance that your relationship can work, it might be well worth it for you to keep trying until you have tried using all of your ideas. Otherwise, you may regret ending your relationship too soon, and this would be unfair to you.
We are all vulnerable to manipulation in relationships, whether between friends, parents, children, employers, coworkers or neighbors. When we let someone manipulate us we are allowing them to control our thoughts, feelings, behavior and our motives through their deceptive, exploitative and unfair means.
A manipulative relationship is one-sided and unbalanced and is not the same as influence. The manipulator achieves their goal at the expense of the person being manipulated. For those of us who aren’t sure we’re being manipulated or want help help dealing with a manipulative partner, talking to a professional therapist is often helpful.
Answer “True” or “False” to the following questions:
The experience of falling in love is one of life’s joys. It brings feelings of delight, passion, connection and hope for a happy future. It can lead to a lifetime of loving contentment. For some people, the “high” that comes from this experience is so compelling that they use it to fill the gaps in their lives, much as they might use a drug. Being in love, for them, can resemble an addiction and dealing with this effectively usually requires help form a professional therapist.
Hypnosis is a procedure in which a psychotherapist makes suggestions to a person so that they experience changes in perception, thoughts or behavior. It is a proven method of helping people move through unconscious barriers to self improvement, enabling a person tap into their natural abilities, use more of their potential and gain more self-control.
Hypnosis (sometimes referred to as ‘hypnotherapy’) is a therapy tool normally used in individual therapy but it is not a stand-alone, separate type of therapy. It cannot, by itself, help people with psychological or physical problems. If the therapist thinks hypnosis will be beneficial, this option would be thoroughly discussed before the client is asked to consent to this treatment.
Hypnosis can be used in psychotherapy to treat many disorders and unwanted behaviors including:
When we’re happy, supportive relationships seem to be everywhere. But when we’re hurting why does someone who we expect to be supportive avoid us instead?
Most couples who end their long term relations are forced to come to terms with a number of fears. “What will people say? Who can I trust to talk to? How can I handle my partner’s anger toward me? How can I deal with my own anger? Am I a complete failure? How can I be a single parent? Will I be able to keep my children? What about money? Can I handle my loneliness? Am I completely unlovable? Will I ever love anyone else again? Do I have the energy for this much change?”
When we hold on to our fears and refuse to do anything about them we increase the likelihood that these will be the very areas where we experience trouble.
Anger is one of the basic emotions all of us feel to one degree or another. Indeed, someone who is incapable of experiencing anger would certainly be at a disadvantage in trying to survive. Used constructively, anger helps us to protect ourselves. It motivates us to solve problems and to resolve conflicts with other people. Anger is an emotion that tells us there is something wrong and motivates us to make our situation better.
