Dealing with Controlling People

“If I Win, You Lose” is Not Our Only Option!

Control, like most facets of human behavior, is probably best experienced in moderation. At one end of the spectrum, control is a positive, adaptive tool. For example, control over prolonged and constant chaos in our lives is usually a good thing. At the other end, control can be seen as negative. People who are over-controlled to the point of being unable to feel or express emotion can find life’s expected turmoils to be difficult or even impossible to handle.

Manipulation in Relationships

We are all vulnerable to manipulation in relationships, whether between friends, parents, children, employers, coworkers or neighbors. When we let someone manipulate us we are allowing them to control our thoughts, feelings, behavior and our motives through their deceptive, exploitative and unfair means.

A manipulative relationship is one-sided and unbalanced and is not the same as influence. The manipulator achieves their goal at the expense of the person being manipulated. For those of us who  aren’t sure we’re being manipulated or want help help dealing with a manipulative partner, talking to a professional therapist is often helpful.

Are You in a Manipulative Relationship?

Answer “True” or “False” to the following questions: