COMMITMENT

Emotional Unavailability – When Your Partner Doesn’t Show Feelings

When we commit to a relationship, we usually expect that our partner will have roughly the same level of emotional involvement that we have. Many of us hope to find a soul-mate, a partner who can share and understand our feelings and ways of thinking on an intensely personal level. Others don’t expect such an intense level of involvement and feel more comfortable maintaining personal privacy in the relationship.

Conflicts may arise when partners have different about how close they should become. One partner may feel emotionally stranded, feeling abandoned and craving more closeness, while the other partner may feel smothered or pressured into providing more of his or her emotional self than can possibly be given. 

Breaking Free of Loneliness

 

Only the lonely
Know the way I feel tonight
Only the lonely
Know this feeling ain’t right
Roy Orbison

If you feel lonely, you’re not alone.

Loneliness is a subjective sense of isolation – a feeling of not being able to connect with other people, a sense of being apart. As humans, we feel the need to be with other people. We need to relate to others, to get involved in their lives, to work with them, and to express our emotions around other people. Our social needs are nearly as powerful as our other basic needs, like our needs for food, water, and shelter.

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Myths and Facts

Clearly, whenever you’ve been cheated on, there are many feelings that arise.

However, some of these emotions could be based on myths about those who cheat. And that can cause you to make decisions based on faulty information.

If you are trying to cope with a partner’s infidelity, get the facts and reject the myths.

The Positive Impact of Premarital Counseling – 7 Ways Your Relationship Can Benefit

Many couples consider premarital counseling as something for those who really don’t know what they want out of a marriage.

Yet, that is far from the truth. In reality, premarital counseling should be a prerequisite for any couple looking to get married.

How can it benefit and strengthen your relationship?

Time to Break Up? – Look for These Signs

We all know it, but it can be difficult to admit—love isn’t always enough to sustain a relationship.

People grow apart, problems arise, and relationships can become stagnant.

If you’re experiencing these issues or any of the following, it might be time to end things with your partner.

Arguing Constructively – and Not So Constructively

A Good Argument Has Its Up Side – But Only If We Fight Fairly

Arguments are not necessarily a sign of a failed relationship or that love is fading. They are often just a sign that the partners are expressing their own individuality, and this is healthy.

All couples argue. This is a normal and expected part of any relationship. Of course, some relationship experts say that arguing is healthy, while others say beware. While an occasional argument might be unavoidable and can even ultimately clarify boundaries within the relationship, a pattern of habitual fighting left unchecked puts the relationship at risk.

Granted, when couples first meet, they may experience no conflict. This is the infatuation stage of a relationship when both people may feel they have met the perfect partner, and happiness reigns supreme. But as time goes by any relationship is molded not only by the similarities between the partners but also by the differences that bring interest, mystery, and complexity to the relationship.

Finding Intimacy

Many people search for that special intimacy in their relationship. Some of us search our entire lives for a feeling of oneness with another person. It’s hard to describe, really, what we search for, but we know it when we finally achieve it. Maybe we tire of that dark feeling of being alone as we struggle through life. If only there were someone else here, we say to ourselves, who could understand and share these burdens. Then it wouldn’t be so lonely. It wouldn’t be so hard.

Working Alone on Your Relationship

Is it fair that you have to work on your relationship alone? Many couple counselors would probably say no, it isn’t, but they would probably encourage you to consider the alternatives. For example, you can choose to stay stuck in a relationship stalemate, but then each of you lose the potential benefits that can come from the work that you do – for example, a healthier and more supportive commitment in your relationship. Or you can let the relationship end.

But working alone may not be a realistic option if the situation is unbearable or abusive or if you’re completely mismatched. However, if there is a chance that your relationship can work, it might be well worth it for you to keep trying until you have tried using all of your ideas. Otherwise, you may regret ending your relationship too soon, and this would be unfair to you.