We all know it, but it can be difficult to admit—love isn’t always enough to sustain a relationship.
People grow apart, problems arise, and relationships can become stagnant.
If you’re experiencing these issues or any of the following, it might be time to end things with your partner.
You Aren’t Seeing Eye to Eye
Conflict is an inevitable and healthy part of every relationship… but only to a certain extent. Disagreement becomes a problem when you can no longer see things from your partner’s perspective.
Of course, you and your partner don’t have to agree on everything. But when you can’t even understand where they’re coming from, you cannot respect them.
Conflict also becomes a problem when you have the same fight over and over and over again. Some things need to be put to rest. But if you keep coming back to the same problem, the issue might be bigger than you originally thought.
It’s one thing to argue over the color your partner chose for the dining room walls, but it’s quite another to continually disagree about the big things. Whether or not to get married, have kids, or accept a job offer in a different state are all common reasons for terminating a relationship.
You’re the Only One Putting in the Effort
It takes two to tango, and both of you need to be active participants in the relationship.
Do you feel like your partner can’t meet you halfway? Do you feel like you’re working alone to fix what doesn’t work? If so, this could be the sign of a big problem.
Relationships aren’t always 50/50, especially when external stressors arise. The death of a family member, the loss of a job, or mental health struggles are all reasons the relationship may teeter to 60/40 or even 80/20. But it should always even out, eventually. You should never be the only one putting forth the effort.
Things That Were Just Quirky Now Drive You Insane
There are many traits that people push under the rug or don’t mind at the beginning of a relationship. But these things can build as time moves on.
Maybe your partner is messy, uncommunicative or irresponsible with money. Those may have been things you could tolerate when you first started dating, but if they haven’t gone away, they are probably things you will not be able to change.
You shouldn’t be in a relationship where you feel like you need to change your partner in order to be happy with them.
You Have Contempt for Your Partner
Researcher and therapist Dr. John Gottman described contempt as the “kiss of death for a relationship.” When you exhibit feelings of contempt, you’re experiencing more than just frustration or irritation; you believe that “a person is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving of scorn.”
These intensified feelings are a definite indicator that you should not be in your current relationship. If you believe that you are better than your partner in a variety of ways, you don’t have respect for their views or opinions. This will only lead to an unhealthy power struggle.
You’re Bored With the Relationship
Your life partner should be the person you want to spend the majority of your time with. It’s healthy to have a balance and spend time apart, but in the end, you should always gravitate towards one another.
Do you feel bored with your partner, the conversations you have, and the activities you engage in? Would you rather spend time alone, with your friends and family, or even with coworkers instead of your partner?
Friendship is a vital part of any romantic relationship, and without this foundation, your relationship can’t go very far.
Breaking up, especially when you’ve dated for a significant amount of time, can be extremely difficult. But you and your partner deserve to be in relationships that fulfill you, instead of drain you. Contact me today at the numbers below if you’re in need of extra support before or after a break-up.