Blog

New Fathers Emotional Struggles

“We’re pregnant!”

A first pregnancy is a significant psychological and emotional milestone in the lives of the new parents and often in their families’ lives. But a new arrival can have a “good news – bad news” effect. For instance, the news of a pregnancy can afford family members an opportunity to reconnect and strengthen family bonds if they live far apart. Or, if family relationships are strained, perhaps differences can be temporarily put aside. Plus members of one or both families have a chance to join in a sense of purpose or if they need to have a reason for being together, now they do.

Finding Happiness

Most people seek a life filled with meaning, contentment, gratification, and pleasure. We strive to reach society’s milestones of success – a college graduation; marriage; family; job promotion; buying a home – but these achievements don’t always bring us the happiness we expected. And although we’re successful by world standards – able to drive nice cars, live in large, clean houses, and have access to entertainment – many of us still experience higher levels of stress.

Pushing ourselves to achieve ‘bigger and better’, we reach another goal only to find that it too doesn’t bring us the happiness we hoped for. We discover that money doesn’t buy us the happiness we thought it could. Sometimes this cycle leaves us feeling just the opposite – depressed or anxious or angry. However, recent research has focused on how a person can work toward a happier life.

Working Alone on Your Relationship

Is it fair that you have to work on your relationship alone? Many couple counselors would probably say no, it isn’t, but they would probably encourage you to consider the alternatives. For example, you can choose to stay stuck in a relationship stalemate, but then each of you lose the potential benefits that can come from the work that you do – for example, a healthier and more supportive commitment in your relationship. Or you can let the relationship end.

But working alone may not be a realistic option if the situation is unbearable or abusive or if you’re completely mismatched. However, if there is a chance that your relationship can work, it might be well worth it for you to keep trying until you have tried using all of your ideas. Otherwise, you may regret ending your relationship too soon, and this would be unfair to you.