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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; trust in relationships</title>
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	<link>https://www.better-relationships.com</link>
	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>Sometimes Love Is Not Enough</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/sometimes-love-is-not-enough/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/sometimes-love-is-not-enough/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2020 00:54:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4349</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When we make a commitment to our partner, our usual expectation is that our relationship will last for life and that our love will see us through the inevitable hard times. Yet, when reality sinks in, we have to acknowledge that while love is one of the components of a relationship’s longevity, it really takes more to make it through the long haul. It takes skills that many of us haven&#8217;t learned. We don&#8217;t know how to negotiate our way through relationship difficulties to build a lasting connection, but we can learn. Substantial research over the past several decades has focused on understanding the secrets of why some couples stay together and others don&#8217;t. For instance, John Gottman, Ph.D., at the University of Washington, studied over 2,000 couples, and has had remarkable success in predicting which couples will make it and which will not. One of Gottman’s major findings is that couples who fight are not necessarily on the road to a breakup. In fact, he makes the point that arguments may be constructive in building a long-term relationship because they help us to clarify our needs and increase mutual respect between partners. Other finding showed that increased sex does not necessarily improve a relationship, and that financial problems do not always imply trouble for a couple. But whether the arguments will lead to a breakup or not depends on how the couple resolves its conflicts. There are positive ways to resolve conflicts that may strengthen the relationship. This research also showed that couples are likely to succeed if they have a healthy balance between positive and negative emotions and interactions. Strong relationships have a five to one ratio – five parts positive interaction to one part negative. Couples who break up, on the other hand, tend to have more negative than positive interactions. Positive Behaviors in a Relationship Showing interest in what your partner is saying, Expressing affection to your partner both verbally (“I love you”) and non-verbally (holding hands, doing kind little things), Showing you care – perhaps by making a phone call during the day or bringing [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>No Secrets &#8230; Telling the Truth in Our Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Apr 2019 22:40:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[falling in love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4299</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; When we commit ourselves to a relationship with another person, we rightly expect to experience a sense of fulfillment that we didn’t have before. Humans, as social beings, seem to have a universal desire to find a partner. Sexual attraction often serves as the motivator for making initial contact with the other person, and this is usually replaced over time with a deeper sense of commitment and intimacy. It comes as a terrible disappointment to some people when the sexual phase of their relationship fails to lead in time to something deeper. The task, then, is to understand the forces which block the development of a deeper sense of intimacy – and to do something about it. Fortunately, with some work – and it’s often hard work – couples can learn to move into the stage of deeper sharing and more fulfillment in their relationships. From Excitement to Reality The excitement which comes with entering a new relationship touches us at the core of our being. It influences our thinking, our emotions, and our physical bodies. In some sense it feels like a dream come true. We feel that, finally, the hard years of experiencing the world alone have come to an end. The thing that we have longed for has been achieved. We now have a partner, someone who can share, understand, and appreciate our most private experiences. The world suddenly seems like a happier and more secure place. The beginning stages of a relationship can bring a precious sense of connection – but when that phone call doesn’t come, when a plan goes awry, when the wrong words are spoken, the emotional high can turn swiftly into a feeling of devastation. Being in love can have its down side. Over time the physical stage of the relationship is typically replaced by a period of getting to know more about other aspects of our partner’s personality. Some of these characteristics are endearing to us – and others irritate us. We learn how our partner attends to the demands of everyday life, and we learn that he or she [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>7 Tips for Ending a Love Relationship with Grace, Dignity and Compassion</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/7-tips-for-ending-a-love-relationship-with-grace-dignity-and-compassion/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/7-tips-for-ending-a-love-relationship-with-grace-dignity-and-compassion/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 22 Sep 2018 20:25:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ending a relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4184</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It’s not uncommon to fall out of love with someone. Even though you have been close for a long time, you may feel that now is the time to end the relationship. The question then becomes, what’s the best way to go about it? Even if you feel that you’re no longer in love, you probably still care for your partner to a degree, and you want to break up on as best of terms as possible. Here are some tips on how you can end your love relationship with grace, dignity, and compassion. 1. Talk with Your Partner Face to Face If you feel safe doing so, talking to your partner face-to-face about how you feel is very important. At the same time, though, it can be very hard. That’s to be expected. After all, ending a relationship, especially one where partners have been together for a while, is never easy. That’s why you owe it to your partner to do it in person, rather than over the phone, messenger, or even text message (yes, it happens!). 2. Prepare for It Before you have this difficult conversation, take the time to organize your thoughts. Write down some notes, or an outline, for why you are making this decision. You don’t have to read directly from it when the time comes. Although, it can be helpful as a guide in the moment. Also, don’t focus on the negative reasons why you are ending the relationship. Let your partner know all of the positive things that you think in connection with them and how much you have appreciated their presence. 3. Make it About Yourself Don’t blame your partner for the relationship ending. Instead, make it about yourself and give your reasons why. Putting all of the blame on your partner for the relationship ending isn’t fair, as they are not the one deciding to call it quits. It’s certainly not a way to show grace, dignity, and compassion. In fact, it will guarantee to drive a wedge between you and your ex-partner, only creating an emotional wound. Instead, own your [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Should We Move In Together &#8211; (12) Questions</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/should-we-move-in-together-12-questions/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/should-we-move-in-together-12-questions/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jul 2018 23:22:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FINANCES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living together]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4142</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; Many couples take the big step of moving in together without first considering the full ramification of the decision. When you started dating, you most likely each had your own space to live. Now, though, you will be sharing a space together. How you both communicate, resolve conflict, and deal with emotional and day-to-day stress are important considerations. That’s why it’s crucial to have several discussion about this big decision. Consider these (12) questions: 1. How Do We Get Along? This is a question you might not have considered before, but it’s still important. How do you both get along with each other on a day-to-day basis? Are you fairly agreeable with one another or is there conflict? Remember that you will be living with each other—and seeing each other—a lot. 2. Do We Communicate Effectively? The next question to ask is whether or not your communication skills are effective as a couple. It’s easy to sit on the couch together watching TV while making small-talk. Yet, effective communication requires listening, understanding, and problem-solving. Most especially, it requires that you have empathy for the other person. 3. Have We Practiced Problem-Solving Together? What’s the biggest problem you have had together? Were you both satisfied with the results? Knowing how to problem-solve is an important skill for any couple. There are always challenges that arise when sharing a home together. Consider how you each approach solving problems individually and as a couple. If you are unsure, then it’s time to put yourselves in some test situations. For instance, if you haven’t already done so, go on a trip together or plan a dinner party, and see what happens. 4. How Do We Cope with Stress? Another benefit of placing yourselves in challenging situations is learning how you cope with stress. Again, this includes you both as individuals and as a couple. Does one of you get angry while the other shuts down? How do you communicate your stress to each other, if at all? Think about specific situations and how you might handle them. For example, what if one of you gets [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Relationship Restoration: How to Forgive and Reconcile After an Affair</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/relationship-restoration-how-to-forgive-and-reconcile-after-an-affair/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/relationship-restoration-how-to-forgive-and-reconcile-after-an-affair/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jun 2018 00:36:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional affairs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to save my relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4128</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Words that describe reconciliation include &#8216;repair&#8217;, &#8216;heal&#8217;, &#8216;fix&#8217; &#8216;rebuild&#8217; and &#8216;restore&#8217;. Sometimes these terms even have a place at the international level, when two or more countries in conflict can find reconciliation after a war. The same can be said for partners whose relationship has been rocked by an affair. “War” may seem to be a strong word to apply to this situation. But just as in war, infidelity involves people who have very different perspectives. Despite having ongoing differences and difficulty, it is possible for couples to find forgiveness and reconcile after an affair. Here&#8217;s how this can happen: Be Honest with Each Other First, regardless of who was unfaithful, be honest with yourself and your partner if you have decided to, or you are considering leaving the relationship. Assuming neither of you wants to end the relationship, mutual honesty is vital. If you are the one who cheated, you need to be honest with your partner about what happened. Along with disclosing everything (except for the &#8216;gory sexual details&#8217;) that happened between you and the outside person, you must answer your partner&#8217;s questions quickly and to their full satisfaction. Of course, this won&#8217;t be easy for you, but your discomfort is very minor compared to how your partner is feeling. Your partner is likely to be in tremendous pain and it would be normal for them to ask you the same questions over and over again, as though they can&#8217;t remember what you&#8217;ve already said. The fact is, if your partner was traumatized by the betrayal, they may not be capable of remembering. So your partner will need to hear you answer the same question again and again. If you were betrayed, you need to be honest and open about your thoughts and feelings. Avoid the mistake of tying to bury what&#8217;s on your mind because it will be harder to express it later, plus you may forget something important. Don&#8217;t worry about being annoying or a burden to your partner. Rather, you need to be frank about how the affair has affected you. Be assertive about expressing your thoughts [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>When You Cheated on Your Partner, Is Disclosure the Best Option?</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/when-you-cheated-on-your-partner-is-disclosure-the-option/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/when-you-cheated-on-your-partner-is-disclosure-the-option/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Jun 2018 22:25:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional affair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ending a relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4122</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So, you’ve cheated on your partner and are now struggling with the aftermath. You have guilt and lots of other emotions swirling around inside you. In fact, there are two different parts of you telling you to do vastly different things. On the one hand, you feel that you should tell your partner what happened and be honest. The other half says that you shouldn’t tell at all. In fact, you may have already convinced yourself that you will keep this hidden from your partner at all costs. What you decide to do now will have great ramifications for your relationship in the future. What should you do? Does Your Partner Deserve the Truth? One question to ask yourself is whether or not your partner deserves to know the truth. Note the keyword: deserves. This is different from whether or not your partner should or should not know the truth. In fact, the word “deserves” itself refers to worthiness. In any healthy relationship, your partner is deserving of knowing everything about you. Your partner ought to be the one person in your life that you can say anything to. But, if you have cheated on your partner, you can safely assume assume that your relationship is not healthy. So you need to take a good look at why you cheated and determine if its time for you to leave. If you want to continue the relationship and do your part to make it healthy, is not your partner worthy enough to know what happened? Don’t they deserve to know the truth? What Are the Consequences of Not Disclosing What Happened? You also need to weigh the consequences of what will happen if you do or do not disclose the affair. On the one hand, if you don’t say anything, your relationship stays as it has been. In fact, you may even feel that you have gotten away with the affair. So the short-term consequence could be favorable to you. This is especially true if you are seeking to avoid conflict with your partner. However, on the other hand, over the [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Building Trust in Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/build-trust-in-relationships/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/build-trust-in-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Nov 2016 01:15:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Porn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIP THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to trust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3623</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It is difficult to achieve intimacy in a relationship unless we have the ability to trust. We tend to focus on other people when we think about trust – that is, we might ask, who out there can be trusted and who cannot? But it may be more helpful to look inside ourselves and to think about trust as something that we either do well, or not. Some people grow up with a good ability to trust appropriately. Others, because of their early childhood and adult life experiences begin a relationship by mistrusting the other person or by placing their trust in the wrong person. Some people learn to trust for the first time during the course of professional psychotherapy. Having a good eye for trust involves having a healthy sense of our own identities. This means having a positive self-image, the ability to value ourselves and our decisions, and a good sense for protecting our own boundaries. We need to know what we stand for and what is best for us. Trust also involves acquiring a knack for making good judgments. When we have the self-confidence that comes with knowing and liking ourselves, as well as the ability to make life-enhancing decisions, we should be able to decide fairly easily about whom to trust. Trust between two people emerges from a process of mutual self-disclosure – we gradually reveal more and more about ourselves to the other person until the relationship achieves a sense of emotional intimacy. The first person self-discloses only to the degree that the other person has, in a series of steps. A good balance in communication is maintained between both people. If this balance is disrupted, it is difficult to maintain trust. For example, if one person reveals everything all at once and the other person reveals nothing at all, the balance is broken – and neither person will be able to trust the other. The building of trust is a mutual process that takes time. We feel comfortable revealing things about ourselves when the other person has shown that he or she is willing [&#8230;]]]></description>
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