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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; relationships</title>
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	<link>https://www.better-relationships.com</link>
	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>Procrastination Hurts Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/procrastination-hurts-relationships-2/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/procrastination-hurts-relationships-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 May 2020 03:14:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIP THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[procrastination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quarantine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4385</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Almost every relationship has been affected by procrastination at one time or another–when one or both partners put responsibilities off to another day or time, only to endlessly delay completing the task at hand. For some people it is a persistent problem, while for others it happens only in certain areas of their lives such as their relationship. It can cause suffering in a committed relationship, when one partner delays or avoids keeping promises or agreements, putting the relationship at risk. And relationships outside the home also requiring teamwork such as friendships; at work and in the community, can suffer. Being unreliable can jeopardize one’s personal reputation, making a partner, friend or coworker lose trust in the procrastinator. There are better ways of dealing with the demands of our everyday lives with needs of our partner, friends and coworkers, once we accept that we are a procrastinator and make a commitment to change. There is a relationship between anxiety and procrastination. It is no surprise that people who fear failure have the problem, as well as people with low self-esteem.  People who are easily frustrated or need instant gratification or cannot concentrate all have difficulty completing tasks. Those who have conflicts with authority figures and are rebellious are inclined to procrastinate. Procrastinators make excuses. When we procrastinate, we are neither carrying out things that need to be done nor are we confronting the underlying reasons for our procrastination. So, what do we tell ourselves to justify our behavior? We may use any of several excuses – and here are some common ones: Getting Bogged Down in Trivia We spend our time on easy tasks and say that we are so busy that we cannot get to the major project. We might answer phone calls, read e-mails, clean the living room, have lunch – anything that we find simple and are emotionally prepared to do – rather than facing the task that we really have to do. We tell ourselves that we simply had to clear up these trivial tasks before tackling our project and there was no time left. Thus, [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Growth During Crisis</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/growth-during-crisis/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/growth-during-crisis/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 Apr 2020 21:35:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crisis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GRIEF & LOSS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PARENTING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change. sudden change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dealing with crisis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[elderly]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[isolation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suicide]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4375</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[For many of us, life as we know it is or soon will be gone, be it socially, professionally or personally. Being aware of and expressing our thoughts and feelings during this crisis is important to our mental and emotional health.  Sudden change often creates anxiety. To help reduce your stress, focus on what you can control; add structure to routines; develop near-term plans (i.e., days or one week out); avoid obsessively watching the news; and talk about your feelings with friends and family. One quick way to calm yourself and stay in the present moment is to do a simple grounding exercise. Pick up an object and concentrate on its weight, shape, color, texture and scent. You can also learn relaxation techniques like mindfulness and meditation through free online apps and eBooks specific to anxiety. Helpful websites include anxiety.org and www.adaa.org. Feelings of grief and loss are also normal. Grief may come out of nowhere, completely consuming you. But you can have some control over your response. For example, you can schedule a specific time for grieving. Then when it strikes, tell yourself “Not now, later.” Then at the specified time allow yourself to grieve. Free online apps and eBooks related to grieving and depression are available. For additional resources go to griefcounselor.org, nami.org and nihm.nih.gov. People who we thought were strong may need our help and emotional support. For example, trauma victims and those with mental illness already have compromised emotional and psychological resources. Additional stress may weaken their existing coping capacity and lead to more symptoms. The effects on children of long-term school closures, social isolation and daily interaction with parents who are now their teachers are unknown, meaning they may also need support. Under stress, it’s normal for kids to regress and act younger.  Once parents determine and address what’s wrong, normal behavior usually returns. Extra reassurance and encouragement are vital to a child’s emotional well-being. One way for parents to help their children feel valuable is to ask what they’re learning at home, from them, about relationships. Resources for helping children include kidsmentalhealth.org and acmh-mi.org. Loving relationships [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Distortions in Your Body Image</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/distortions-in-your-body-image/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/distortions-in-your-body-image/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 26 Jun 2019 00:08:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BODY IMAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[body image]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dieting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional eating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weight loss]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4311</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“What disturbs people’s minds is not events, but their judgments on events.” – Epictetus In China, parents once bound the feet of their daughters in pursuit of beauty. In parts of Africa, both men and women elongate their earlobes and decorate their skin with minerals to look attractive, and this trend may be found in the United States now. At one time in this society, we found plump, rotund people to be the epitome of beauty. Old movies show us that the Tarzans and Supermen of past decades would hardly pass muster in today’s gyms. Today we define beauty as a thin, youthful, and muscular look. Today we go under the knife and on extreme diets to achieve a socially acceptable appearance – not to mention tattoos and body piercing – all practices that are similar to the early Chinese custom of binding feet. Although changes are taking place, strong social standards have dictated, especially through the media, how we should look – and if our own bodies deviate from these expectations, which is the case for almost all of us, we can feel inferior and ashamed. We hide. We cover up. We don’t like an important part of our selves. We feel depressed. We feel anxious in front of other people. We feel powerless – and we are apologetic when we show the world who we are. Body image refers to your personal relationship with your body. This includes all of the beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, feelings, and perceptions you have about your body. It does not refer to what your body actually looks like. Our body is one of many aspects of who we are, but for many of us it is the dominating source of our sense of self. If we compare ourselves to what we are supposed to look like, we come up short and this brings up negative feelings about who we are. We forget that our inner or essential self has many wonderful attributes. We do not have to harbor negative feelings about ourselves because our external appearance may not conform to current social norms. [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>No Secrets &#8230; Telling the Truth in Our Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Apr 2019 22:40:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[falling in love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4299</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; When we commit ourselves to a relationship with another person, we rightly expect to experience a sense of fulfillment that we didn’t have before. Humans, as social beings, seem to have a universal desire to find a partner. Sexual attraction often serves as the motivator for making initial contact with the other person, and this is usually replaced over time with a deeper sense of commitment and intimacy. It comes as a terrible disappointment to some people when the sexual phase of their relationship fails to lead in time to something deeper. The task, then, is to understand the forces which block the development of a deeper sense of intimacy – and to do something about it. Fortunately, with some work – and it’s often hard work – couples can learn to move into the stage of deeper sharing and more fulfillment in their relationships. From Excitement to Reality The excitement which comes with entering a new relationship touches us at the core of our being. It influences our thinking, our emotions, and our physical bodies. In some sense it feels like a dream come true. We feel that, finally, the hard years of experiencing the world alone have come to an end. The thing that we have longed for has been achieved. We now have a partner, someone who can share, understand, and appreciate our most private experiences. The world suddenly seems like a happier and more secure place. The beginning stages of a relationship can bring a precious sense of connection – but when that phone call doesn’t come, when a plan goes awry, when the wrong words are spoken, the emotional high can turn swiftly into a feeling of devastation. Being in love can have its down side. Over time the physical stage of the relationship is typically replaced by a period of getting to know more about other aspects of our partner’s personality. Some of these characteristics are endearing to us – and others irritate us. We learn how our partner attends to the demands of everyday life, and we learn that he or she [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>7 Tips for Ending a Love Relationship with Grace, Dignity and Compassion</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/7-tips-for-ending-a-love-relationship-with-grace-dignity-and-compassion/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/7-tips-for-ending-a-love-relationship-with-grace-dignity-and-compassion/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 22 Sep 2018 20:25:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ending a relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4184</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It’s not uncommon to fall out of love with someone. Even though you have been close for a long time, you may feel that now is the time to end the relationship. The question then becomes, what’s the best way to go about it? Even if you feel that you’re no longer in love, you probably still care for your partner to a degree, and you want to break up on as best of terms as possible. Here are some tips on how you can end your love relationship with grace, dignity, and compassion. 1. Talk with Your Partner Face to Face If you feel safe doing so, talking to your partner face-to-face about how you feel is very important. At the same time, though, it can be very hard. That’s to be expected. After all, ending a relationship, especially one where partners have been together for a while, is never easy. That’s why you owe it to your partner to do it in person, rather than over the phone, messenger, or even text message (yes, it happens!). 2. Prepare for It Before you have this difficult conversation, take the time to organize your thoughts. Write down some notes, or an outline, for why you are making this decision. You don’t have to read directly from it when the time comes. Although, it can be helpful as a guide in the moment. Also, don’t focus on the negative reasons why you are ending the relationship. Let your partner know all of the positive things that you think in connection with them and how much you have appreciated their presence. 3. Make it About Yourself Don’t blame your partner for the relationship ending. Instead, make it about yourself and give your reasons why. Putting all of the blame on your partner for the relationship ending isn’t fair, as they are not the one deciding to call it quits. It’s certainly not a way to show grace, dignity, and compassion. In fact, it will guarantee to drive a wedge between you and your ex-partner, only creating an emotional wound. Instead, own your [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>(6) Ways to Increase Intimacy and Escape the &#8216;Roommate&#8217; Syndrome</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/6-ways-to-increase-intimacy-and-escape-the-roommate-syndrome/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/6-ways-to-increase-intimacy-and-escape-the-roommate-syndrome/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 Jul 2018 21:23:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4148</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you felt like you and your partner are more like roommates than intimate companions? Watching Netflix in your sweatpants while your partner plays a game on their cell phone sounds like a hot date, right? Not exactly. There is not a lot about that scenario radiating romance. What it does portray is a mutual level of extreme comfort you and your partner have embraced. Of course, nothing is wrong with feeling comfortable around your partner. Actually, you want to be comfortable with each other. But you also want to nurture the intimate connection you have and acting like roommates simply doesn’t do that. If you feel stuck in the ‘roommate rut’, try these suggestions: 1. Get in the Right Frame of Mind The roommate rut starts in your mind. To dig your way out of the rut, you first have to change the way you think about your relationship. To begin, stop thinking you’ve “arrived” in your relationship. No relationship ever arrives. But it can grow and move in new and exciting directions. There are always more adventures to be had and plenty more chapters to be written. Adopt a mindset that forces you to think of your partner differently. For instance, explore and learn more about them on a deeper level – their dreams, personal goals and struggles, fantasies, and wishes. And really listen to what they say.  One way to make your partner feel like they matter to you is to occasionally repeat back what you heard them saying to make sure you understood them. 2. Connect When You&#8217;re Apart Keeping a relationship healthy includes maintaining the connection while things are good between you and when they&#8217;re not. So, make a point to reach out to your partner during the course of the day. Instead of text messaging, it&#8217;s better to call if you can. A ten second phone call and hearing the sound of each other’s voice is sometimes all that it takes for partners feel cared about, even they&#8217;re fighting. If they can&#8217;t answer leave a message that you were thinking of them. Either way, [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How Birth Order Affects Our Behavior and Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/how-birth-order-affects-our-behavior-and-relationships/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/how-birth-order-affects-our-behavior-and-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 May 2018 21:33:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PARENTING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[birth order]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4016</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Researchers have studied the effects of birth order for nearly a century now, but learned only within the past few decades about the influence of birth order on our behavior and the nature of relationships with our partners. We now know that the strategies we learn in childhood for dealing with our parents and siblings has a lasting influence on our behavior, often in ways we barely recognize. Same Home but Worlds Apart If brothers and sisters are raised by the same parents, how do they end up so different? Why does one sibling grow up to be successful academically and professionally but with few friends, while another becomes the athlete with loads of friends? To the degree that one of the siblings is a responsible person, another will be attention-seeking or rebellious. One follows the ways of the parents and another looks outside the family for support. Consider two parents, possibly newly married, who have their first child. Determined to be the best parents in the world, they dote on the child, give the child an abundance of attention, and try to show just how responsible they are. They want to be perfect parents and they want the child to be perfect – and it’s a lesson the child learns well. First- borns often grow up with perfectionist tendencies, and they strive for approval and success in the adult world. The world of the first-born child differs markedly from the second born, and if a third comes along, he or she will carve out territory within the family system that differs from the first two. This is not to say that these patterns are carved in stone – there are always exceptions to the rules. For example, if the first two children are born close together and the third child comes along much later, the last-born may have characteristics resembling the first-born. The second child usually doesn’t get nearly as much attention, and different from the first born, this child often goes outside of the family as they grow up &#8211; the support of their friends becomes more important [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Hooked on Porn? 3 Ways Porn Addiction Affects Your Relationship</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/hooked-on-porn-3-ways-porn-addiction-affects-your-relationship/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/hooked-on-porn-3-ways-porn-addiction-affects-your-relationship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Feb 2018 01:17:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ADDICTIONS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Porn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIP THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional affair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Porn Addiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3907</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Porn has become a household subject within the past few decades. While most people aren’t sitting around the dinner table discussing it in detail, we are more aware of its existence now than ever. In fact, many people have invited porn into their lives “just for fun.” Maybe you thought viewing a little action to “spice” up your own libido wouldn’t hurt anything. Now, you’re hooked. You can’t get enough. When you first started watching porn you may not have intended for this to happen. As life plays out, though, it’s easy to see that porn is anything but harmless to a romantic relationship. Ways Porn Addiction Affects Your Relationship 1. Decreases Sexual Satisfaction It may seem like an oxymoron to say that porn decreases sexual satisfaction. This is a reality for porn viewers, though. It may even be a reality for you. For example, watching porn can quickly alter your expectation of sex. Meaning, you don’t think or feel about sex the way that you once did. Your partner used to turn you on, but now arousal is difficult for you. Furthermore, porn viewers learn to expect something new each time. It could be a new scenario, new characters, or new angle. Your partner can start to seem boring to you because he or she isn’t anything “new.” Sadly, your partner may feel cheated by the fact that you choose to view porn over making love to him or her. This feeling of betrayal can quickly pull the two of you apart. If you don’t address the issue, then the gaping distance in your relationship will progressively grow larger and larger. This leads us to the next problem. 2. Decreases Intimacy Many people use intimacy and sex interchangeably. They aren’t the same, though. While intimacy can be sex and sex can be intimacy, it’s not automatic. Sex is, however, one of the deepest forms of intimacy. This notion is what porn twists. In short, when you make love you make love to a person. When you watch porn you watch sex organs. Porn has diminished both men and women [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Working Alone on Your Relationship</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/working-alone-on-my-relationship/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/working-alone-on-my-relationship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 26 Oct 2016 23:29:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Porn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[together but alone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[working alone]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3340</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Is it fair that you have to work on your relationship alone? Many couple counselors would probably say no, it isn&#8217;t, but they would probably encourage you to consider the alternatives. For example, you can choose to stay stuck in a relationship stalemate, but then each of you lose the potential benefits that can come from the work that you do – for example, a healthier and more supportive commitment in your relationship. Or you can let the relationship end. But working alone may not be a realistic option if the situation is unbearable or abusive or if you’re completely mismatched. However, if there is a chance that your relationship can work, it might be well worth it for you to keep trying until you have tried using all of your ideas. Otherwise, you may regret ending your relationship too soon, and this would be unfair to you. When thinking about fairness in your relationship, remember that many things in life are not fair. Illness, financial setbacks, divorce, and the loss of a loved one happen to the best of people. And even if you and your partner put equal effort into your relationship there is no guarantee that your problems would be resolved. Still, like many others working alone in difficult circumstances, you keep trying, because this is what many people do – to persist when faced with personal struggles. If, for whatever reason, your partner lacks the ability to work with you to solve problems, you may have to accept this. It isn’t ideal but it’s your reality. Sometimes the strength and courage of one partner is needed to compensate for the shortcomings of another. The real test of fairness in this situation is questioning whether you are creating the best life you can for yourself. In all of our relationships we need to have a balance, not necessarily between two partners but a balance between our own needs and the needs of the relationship. The source of your personal happiness lies within you and comes from your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual strengths. Working on these strengths [&#8230;]]]></description>
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