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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; loneliness</title>
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	<link>https://www.better-relationships.com</link>
	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>Distortions in Your Body Image</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/distortions-in-your-body-image/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/distortions-in-your-body-image/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 26 Jun 2019 00:08:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BODY IMAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[body image]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dieting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional eating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weight loss]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4311</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“What disturbs people’s minds is not events, but their judgments on events.” – Epictetus In China, parents once bound the feet of their daughters in pursuit of beauty. In parts of Africa, both men and women elongate their earlobes and decorate their skin with minerals to look attractive, and this trend may be found in the United States now. At one time in this society, we found plump, rotund people to be the epitome of beauty. Old movies show us that the Tarzans and Supermen of past decades would hardly pass muster in today’s gyms. Today we define beauty as a thin, youthful, and muscular look. Today we go under the knife and on extreme diets to achieve a socially acceptable appearance – not to mention tattoos and body piercing – all practices that are similar to the early Chinese custom of binding feet. Although changes are taking place, strong social standards have dictated, especially through the media, how we should look – and if our own bodies deviate from these expectations, which is the case for almost all of us, we can feel inferior and ashamed. We hide. We cover up. We don’t like an important part of our selves. We feel depressed. We feel anxious in front of other people. We feel powerless – and we are apologetic when we show the world who we are. Body image refers to your personal relationship with your body. This includes all of the beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, feelings, and perceptions you have about your body. It does not refer to what your body actually looks like. Our body is one of many aspects of who we are, but for many of us it is the dominating source of our sense of self. If we compare ourselves to what we are supposed to look like, we come up short and this brings up negative feelings about who we are. We forget that our inner or essential self has many wonderful attributes. We do not have to harbor negative feelings about ourselves because our external appearance may not conform to current social norms. [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Losing Your Relationship  &#8211; Aftermath of Divorce</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/losing-your-relationship-understanding-the-after-effects/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/losing-your-relationship-understanding-the-after-effects/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Jan 2019 02:31:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GRIEF & LOSS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grief and loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marraige counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4239</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Most divorcing people are forced to come to terms with a number of fears. What will people say? Who can I trust to talk to? How can I handle my partner&#8217;s anger toward me? How do I deal with my own anger? Am I a complete failure? How can I be a single parent? Will I be able to keep my children? What about money? Can I do the banking and buy groceries and pay bills and fix the car? Can I handle my loneliness? Am I completely unlovable? Will I ever love anyone else again? Do I have the energy for this much change? When we hold on to our fears and refuse to do anything about them, we increase the likelihood that these will be the very areas where we experience trouble. Loneliness The loneliness one experiences at the time of divorce can feel immeasurable. The finality of the marriage, the uncertainty about the future, and the knowledge that your partner will no longer be there to comfort you or to spend time with you, can all contribute to an empty feeling that will not go away. The clue is to change loneliness to aloneness, to change the emptiness to a feeling of peace, contentment, and fulfillment. Looking into oneself and liking what one sees is a key to making the shift to aloneness. (Get into being alone. It is a precious but tenuous gift that can disappear far too quickly from one&#8217;s life.) Friendship Divorce is a true test of just who your real friends are. It is important to draw on the emotional support of friends during a divorce. Unfortunately, many of your friends were those who knew you as a couple and they often must choose between you. Even those who try to stay neutral find it difficult. Many may feel that your divorce somehow threatens their own marriages and some friends may now find it difficult to relate to you as a single person. Not only that, but you may find it difficult to trust others during a divorce. Getting out, feeling free, and [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Depression in Men</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/depression-in-men-2/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/depression-in-men-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Jan 2019 19:13:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression in men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grief and loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sadness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4224</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The incidence of depression in our society seems to be on the rise. Recent estimates suggest that as many as one in three of us will experience some form of depression within our lifetimes. Others claim that depression may even represent a symptom of our times which are characterized by alienation, lack of strong community bonds, and hopeless economic situations for many. It is normal to feel sad and experience down days occasionally. Most people go through normal periods of feeling dispirited, especially after they experience a loss or any other period of stress. But what specialists call clinical depression is different from just being “down in the dumps.” The main difference is that the sad or empty mood does not go away after a couple of weeks – and everyday activities like eating, sleeping, socializing, or working can be affected. People who experience depression describe it as agonizing pain that cannot be shaken and seems to have no end in sight. They feel trapped and talk about having a dark, empty pit in their chest or stomach that cannot be filled. Some depressed people suffer so much that they may even contemplate suicide. Virtually all people with depression complain about reduced energy, reduced concentration, and the inability to complete projects. About eighty percent of depressed people say they have trouble sleeping, with frequent nighttime awakening during which they worry about their problems. Many people with depression oversleep during the daytime. Sufferers of this disorder report that they have had either an increase or a decrease in their appetite, sometimes accompanied by weight gain or loss. About fifty percent of people with depression say that their symptoms are worse in the morning and that they feel a bit better by evening. Half of all people with depression report only one severe episode within their lifetimes, but the remainder may have this happen twice, or repeatedly, during their lives. Here are some symptoms of major depression – Diminished ability to enjoy oneself Loss of energy and interest Difficulty concentrating; slowed or fuzzy thinking; indecision Magnified feelings of hopelessness, sadness, or anxiety [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>When Depression Is More Than Sadness! – 7 Other Tell-Tale Signs</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/when-depression-is-more-than-sadness-7-other-tell-tale-signs/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/when-depression-is-more-than-sadness-7-other-tell-tale-signs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Dec 2018 23:32:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GRIEF & LOSS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[irritatable]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sadness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self care]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4213</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We don’t always have the full range of words to explain what we are going through. For example, we might say that we feel sad. Yet, in fact, we might have clinical depression and not even realize it. Alternatively, we might recognize depression in someone else who insists that they are “just sad.” Honestly, it can be hard sometimes to tell the difference. Sadness is a regular, temporary, human emotion. Depression, in contrast, is a mental health condition. Usually, it requires some kind of dedicated treatment before the condition will improve. Here are seven key differences between sadness and depression. 1. The Cause for Sadness or Low Mood One key difference between sadness and depression is whether or not something provokes the emotion. We feel sadness in response to something. For example, a breakup causes people to feel sad. In contrast, depression doesn’t have a specific cause. We can sometimes point to reasons, finding a cause. However, when the mood doesn’t lift, we see that’s not the real reason. Something underlying it all is at the root. If we can’t find a concrete cause for feeling blue, then we need to consider that it might be depression. 2. Sadness Doesn’t Leach Away Interest When we are sad, we might want to skip a few activities. For example, we might not feel like keeping a standing Saturday night date with friends. However, we don’t lose all interest in everything. We quickly back bounce and enjoy the same activities as always. In contrast, depression eats away at all interests. In depression, we lose desire or motivation to do the things that we used to enjoy. Nothing feels pleasurable anymore. We don’t want to see people we used to like or go to events that we previously thought were fun. 3. Sadness Isn’t Irritable Sadness can make us feel more sensitive. However, it doesn’t tend to cause major mood changes. If you feel especially irritable, then you might have depression. Other similar signs include: Feeling easily frustrated Impatience Outbursts of anger Quicker than usual to feel overwhelmed Slower than usual to “bounce back” from [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Why Self Care is So Important When Overcoming Addiction</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/why-self-care-is-so-important-when-overcoming-addiction/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/why-self-care-is-so-important-when-overcoming-addiction/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Jul 2018 02:25:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ADDICTIONS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Recovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[addiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming addicition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[recovering from addiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[recovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self care]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4160</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Addiction is more than an annoyance or inconvenience. It sucks the life out of you and leaves you feeling drained. When trying to overcome an addiction this fact is even more exacerbated. That’s why self-care is so important for your recovery. Get Back to Basics When addiction has you in its grasps even the basics of self-care often get left behind. That’s because you are so focused on either being high or getting high. There’s just not much time left over to take care of yourself. For example, you may neglect such things as: Bathing and grooming Doing laundry Cleaning and maintaining your home If this sounds like you, it’s time to get back into a routine. Even something as basic as taking a shower and wash your hair thoroughly will be restorative. Do the basics you need to do in order to feel “normal” again. Make Sure You Get Enough Sleep For the addicted, sleep patterns get usually turned upside down. Your brain becomes hyper-focused on drugs or alcohol instead of sleep. Indeed, some drink just to be able to fall asleep at night. As part of your self-care routine create a sleep routine that includes: Going to bed at a reasonable hour consistently each night Setting the temperature in the bedroom at a level that is neither too hot or cold Removing any TV’s or other electronics from the bedroom Not checking your phone close to bedtime (in fact, just leave it outside the bedroom) Avoiding the use of caffeine or nicotine before bedtime Your body actually needs sleep in order to repair itself. If you are in recovery, this is especially important. Ensure You are Eating a Healthy Diet Nutrition is another important component of addiction recovery. Just like with sleep, your body needs to be able to repair itself from the damage caused by addiction. If you are putting junk food into your body, then it will have a harder time healing itself. Instead, make better food choices. For example, consider foods such as nutritious fruits, vegetables, proteins, and grains. Try cooking for yourself. Cooking is [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Emotional Unavailability – When Your Partner Doesn’t Show Feelings</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/emotional-unavailability-when-your-partner-doesnt-show-feelings/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/emotional-unavailability-when-your-partner-doesnt-show-feelings/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2018 01:40:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflcit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional availability]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional unavailability]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4066</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When we commit to a relationship, we usually expect that our partner will have roughly the same level of emotional involvement that we have. Many of us hope to find a soul-mate, a partner who can share and understand our feelings and ways of thinking on an intensely personal level. Others don’t expect such an intense level of involvement and feel more comfortable maintaining personal privacy in the relationship. Conflicts may arise when partners have different about how close they should become. One partner may feel emotionally stranded, feeling abandoned and craving more closeness, while the other partner may feel smothered or pressured into providing more of his or her emotional self than can possibly be given.  Healthy Relationship Phases The course of a relationship follows a predictable path. The early weeks, months, or even years of a relationship, in fact, are ideally a time of togetherness – when partners search for and experience the similarities that bring them together. It is common for a couple during this first phase to experience a level of emotional sharing so intense that they want to carry their relationship to a more committed level. The next stage, however, is when boundaries are established, when we focus on our differences and in maintaining our own individuality. Couples who can negotiate their way through both stages are moving toward a successful long-term commitment. Both of the initial stages typify a good relationship – the coming together phase, followed by the firming up of our own identities within the relationship. A solid relationship is one in which feelings can be readily expressed and shared while each of the partners is able to experience a sense of their own identities. Suddenly it’s Over All too often, however, there is a discrepancy between the two partners in terms of how much of their emotional life they make available to the other. When one partner is able to share emotionally and the other is not, usually the emotionally available partner feels more pain. Take the classic example of a couple who have an intense courtship. One partner lavishes the [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Breaking Free of Loneliness</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/breaking-free-of-loneliness/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/breaking-free-of-loneliness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 May 2018 23:49:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feeling alone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[isolated]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lonely]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rejection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social isolation]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4023</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; Only the lonely Know the way I feel tonight Only the lonely Know this feeling ain’t right – Roy Orbison If you feel lonely, you’re not alone. Loneliness is a subjective sense of isolation – a feeling of not being able to connect with other people, a sense of being apart. As humans, we feel the need to be with other people. We need to relate to others, to get involved in their lives, to work with them, and to express our emotions around other people. Our social needs are nearly as powerful as our other basic needs, like our needs for food, water, and shelter. When we are deprived of our social needs, we can become fearful. Our sense of being alone might become amplified. It is common for a person in social isolation to magnify the thoughts that accompany loneliness – and then withdraw even further from others. When we choose to withdraw, we may end up feeling trapped in our isolation. Given the importance of social connection, it is surprising that twenty percent of people feel sufficiently isolated that loneliness plays a major role in their lives. Over the past several decades our culture has changed to the point where loneliness has emerged as a major social and psychological problem. We are a culture that places a premium on individualism. We emphasize the importance of being able to do things on our own. Many people pride themselves on their ability to survive and experience success without having to depend on other people. The down side of this social norm, however, is that many of us feel lonely. We do need other people. Research findings confirm that as a society we are moving toward more loneliness. Respondents to a social science survey in 2004 were three times more likely to report that they had nobody with whom to discuss important issues than respondents in 1985. During the past twenty years the size of the average household has declined ten percent to 2.5 persons. In 1990, more than one in five households was headed by a single parent [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Recovery From a Breakup</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/after-a-breakup/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/after-a-breakup/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Oct 2016 22:25:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[GRIEF & LOSS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[breakup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with a breakup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ending a relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[losing your relationship]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3195</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Most couples who end their long term relations are forced to come to terms with a number of fears. &#8220;What will people say? Who can I trust to talk to? How can I handle my partner’s anger toward me? How can I deal with my own anger? Am I a complete failure? How can I be a single parent? Will I be able to keep my children? What about money? Can I handle my loneliness? Am I completely unlovable? Will I ever love anyone else again? Do I have the energy for this much change?&#8221; When we hold on to our fears and refuse to do anything about them we increase the likelihood that these will be the very areas where we experience trouble. Loneliness The loneliness after a breakup can feel intolerable. The finality of the relationship, the uncertainty about the future and the knowledge that your partner will no longer be there to comfort you or to spend time with you, can all contribute to an empty feeling that won’t easily go away. An effective way to cope with a breakup is to redefine what’s happened. For example, redefine ‘loneliness’ as ‘aloneness’ and realize that being alone gives you freedom to create a new future. In the same way, you can redefine ‘emptiness’ as a feeling of peace, contentment and fulfillment. Looking into oneself and liking what one sees is a key to making the shift to aloneness. Get into being alone. It is a precious but tenuous gift that can disappear to quickly from one’s life. Friendships The end of your relationship is a true test of just who your friends really are. It is important to draw on the emotional support of friends during and after a breakup. Unfortunately many of your friends were those who knew you as a couple &#8211; and now they often must choose between you. Even those who try to stay neutral may find this to be difficult. Many of them may feel that your breakup will somehow threaten their own relationship and some friends may now find it hard to [&#8230;]]]></description>
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