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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; letting go of hurt feelings</title>
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	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>How to Forgive</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/how-to-forgive/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/how-to-forgive/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 Nov 2016 04:36:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[letting go of hurt feelings]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[All of us have been hurt, in one way or another, by someone else. While it is easy to forgive a friend for note returning our phone call, it is not so easy to forgive those who have harmed us in a major way. The greatest hurts seem to come from those who play the most significant roles in our lives. The enormity of the hurt may lead us to conclude that we can never forgive the other person. However, to forgive or not forgive is one of our most important life choices. It is vital for our own emotional well-being to understand that it is a choice that has consequences. Consider this question – if the harm we have experienced leads us to a life dominated by unresolved anger and mistrust, are we not allowing the offender to continue to have power over us? When we lose sleep because of endless thoughts about old hurts, when we seethe with anger, when we keep asking questions that seem to have no answers, we continue to suffer the consequences of being hurt. Perhaps our goal should be to find a way to free ourselves from the damage and to reclaim our lives for ourselves. There are many ways of being hurt. Some are minor and some are more severe. In some cases we are the unwitting victim of those who hurt us. At other times we collude in allowing ourselves to suffer by building expectations that make us vulnerable or placing our trust in the wrong places. Whatever the nature of the damage done to us, it is a potential source of learning. We can allow the hurt to keep us down as we continue to play the role of the victim – or, alternatively, we can learn to overcome it, adapt to it, try to make sure that it never happens again, and, if it does occur again, learn to deal with it more effectively. Here are some ways that we can be hurt: Unmet expectations: We don’t always get what we want, and this is to be expected. When [&#8230;]]]></description>
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