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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; grief and loss</title>
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	<link>https://www.better-relationships.com</link>
	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>The Resilient Personality – Coping with Chaos and Hardship</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/the-resilient-personality-coping-with-chaos-and-hardship/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/the-resilient-personality-coping-with-chaos-and-hardship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 31 Mar 2020 18:35:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crisis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GRIEF & LOSS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chaos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grief and loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hardship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[job loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trauma]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4367</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”                                                                                                – Ralph Waldo Emerson All of us experience major disruptions at certain points in our lives. In fact, this is an expected and predictable hallmark of the human condition. For some, these hard times come frequently – the impact of the trauma is overwhelming and recovery, if it comes at all, can be painfully slow. Others show resilience and are able to glide through these times fairly easily, bouncing back to a normal life again quickly. Resilience – the strength required to adapt to chaos and hardship – lies at the heart of mental and emotional health. Those who have been emotionally, sexually, and physically abused as children, as well as those who have grown up with learning disabilities and attention deficit disorders share  many of the common characteristics of those who have endured traumas later in life, such as war, the loss of a loved one, natural disasters, financial catastrophes, or a major illness. Normal Life Disruption vs. Trauma What has been most interesting in these studies is the finding that some traumatized people – both those with childhood abuse and other challenges, as well as those who experienced life disruptions in adulthood – suffer virtually no ill effects from the trauma. In fact, in many cases they seem to have grown stronger and led more integrated lives. This unexpected finding has guided researchers to explore the nature of resilience. The normal life cycle contains predictable periods of life disruption. For example, when we move from childhood to adolescence, everything we knew about the world goes through a jarring transformation. During this period of life disorganization, our bodies go through tremendous hormonal and developmental changes, our definitions of other people change, our motives and interests change, we learn how to define ourselves as individuals with autonomy, and we expand our range of social relationships. Similar stages of disruption occur when the adolescent moves into young adulthood, and then into a permanent relationship, possible parenting, middle age, and then retirement and [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Losing Your Relationship  &#8211; Aftermath of Divorce</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/losing-your-relationship-understanding-the-after-effects/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/losing-your-relationship-understanding-the-after-effects/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Jan 2019 02:31:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GRIEF & LOSS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grief and loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marraige counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4239</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Most divorcing people are forced to come to terms with a number of fears. What will people say? Who can I trust to talk to? How can I handle my partner&#8217;s anger toward me? How do I deal with my own anger? Am I a complete failure? How can I be a single parent? Will I be able to keep my children? What about money? Can I do the banking and buy groceries and pay bills and fix the car? Can I handle my loneliness? Am I completely unlovable? Will I ever love anyone else again? Do I have the energy for this much change? When we hold on to our fears and refuse to do anything about them, we increase the likelihood that these will be the very areas where we experience trouble. Loneliness The loneliness one experiences at the time of divorce can feel immeasurable. The finality of the marriage, the uncertainty about the future, and the knowledge that your partner will no longer be there to comfort you or to spend time with you, can all contribute to an empty feeling that will not go away. The clue is to change loneliness to aloneness, to change the emptiness to a feeling of peace, contentment, and fulfillment. Looking into oneself and liking what one sees is a key to making the shift to aloneness. (Get into being alone. It is a precious but tenuous gift that can disappear far too quickly from one&#8217;s life.) Friendship Divorce is a true test of just who your real friends are. It is important to draw on the emotional support of friends during a divorce. Unfortunately, many of your friends were those who knew you as a couple and they often must choose between you. Even those who try to stay neutral find it difficult. Many may feel that your divorce somehow threatens their own marriages and some friends may now find it difficult to relate to you as a single person. Not only that, but you may find it difficult to trust others during a divorce. Getting out, feeling free, and [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Depression in Men</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/depression-in-men-2/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/depression-in-men-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Jan 2019 19:13:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression in men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grief and loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sadness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4224</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The incidence of depression in our society seems to be on the rise. Recent estimates suggest that as many as one in three of us will experience some form of depression within our lifetimes. Others claim that depression may even represent a symptom of our times which are characterized by alienation, lack of strong community bonds, and hopeless economic situations for many. It is normal to feel sad and experience down days occasionally. Most people go through normal periods of feeling dispirited, especially after they experience a loss or any other period of stress. But what specialists call clinical depression is different from just being “down in the dumps.” The main difference is that the sad or empty mood does not go away after a couple of weeks – and everyday activities like eating, sleeping, socializing, or working can be affected. People who experience depression describe it as agonizing pain that cannot be shaken and seems to have no end in sight. They feel trapped and talk about having a dark, empty pit in their chest or stomach that cannot be filled. Some depressed people suffer so much that they may even contemplate suicide. Virtually all people with depression complain about reduced energy, reduced concentration, and the inability to complete projects. About eighty percent of depressed people say they have trouble sleeping, with frequent nighttime awakening during which they worry about their problems. Many people with depression oversleep during the daytime. Sufferers of this disorder report that they have had either an increase or a decrease in their appetite, sometimes accompanied by weight gain or loss. About fifty percent of people with depression say that their symptoms are worse in the morning and that they feel a bit better by evening. Half of all people with depression report only one severe episode within their lifetimes, but the remainder may have this happen twice, or repeatedly, during their lives. Here are some symptoms of major depression – Diminished ability to enjoy oneself Loss of energy and interest Difficulty concentrating; slowed or fuzzy thinking; indecision Magnified feelings of hopelessness, sadness, or anxiety [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Extreme Grief After a Job Loss Is Real – Look for These Symptoms</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/extreme-grief-after-a-job-loss-is-real-look-for-these-symptoms/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/extreme-grief-after-a-job-loss-is-real-look-for-these-symptoms/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 01 Mar 2018 01:54:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GRIEF & LOSS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[career change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[career counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grief and loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[job loss]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3943</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Losing your job hurts—plain and simple. For some, it&#8217;s devastating. Not only can it hurt your financial welfare, it can cause emotional pain and suffering. Depending on your reactions to this crisis, it can severely impact your relationships with family and friends. In fact, for some people a job loss is similar to hearing about the death of a loved one. And there are reasons why you may feel this loss so deeply. It’s a common practice in much of today’s society to place our identity in our job and in our career. For example, you may have based your self-worth and self-esteem on your job responsibilities, or on your coworkers’ respect for you, or on your job title, or your workplace relationships, and losing any of these can mean losing part or all of your personal identity. The grief that follows a job loss is a natural and very real. Like most significant losses, the side effects can be painful and often happen unexpectedly. But there is a way through this loss that can create growth and healthy changes. Let’s look at how this might happen and what steps to take going forward. Denial of Job Loss The days and weeks after a job loss can be the most difficult. Being in a state of shock is typical. Many people report not being able to find their way home after hearing that they’ve been terminated. Some try to escape from this shock by denying the painful feelings of loss. For example, you may try to pretend that life goes on as usual. Despite no longer having an income, you carry on as though nothing happened. Or, when people ask you how you are, you say that you’ve never been better. But it’s all a facade—a brave but futile attempt to conceal how you’re really feeling. Avoidance of Social Situations When someone loses a job, others are naturally concerned for them. For example, people may ask you about your plans for the future or try to assure you that you’ll quickly find a better job. While they have good intentions, [&#8230;]]]></description>
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