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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; finding happiness</title>
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	<link>https://www.better-relationships.com</link>
	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>No Secrets &#8230; Telling the Truth in Our Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Apr 2019 22:40:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[falling in love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4299</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; When we commit ourselves to a relationship with another person, we rightly expect to experience a sense of fulfillment that we didn’t have before. Humans, as social beings, seem to have a universal desire to find a partner. Sexual attraction often serves as the motivator for making initial contact with the other person, and this is usually replaced over time with a deeper sense of commitment and intimacy. It comes as a terrible disappointment to some people when the sexual phase of their relationship fails to lead in time to something deeper. The task, then, is to understand the forces which block the development of a deeper sense of intimacy – and to do something about it. Fortunately, with some work – and it’s often hard work – couples can learn to move into the stage of deeper sharing and more fulfillment in their relationships. From Excitement to Reality The excitement which comes with entering a new relationship touches us at the core of our being. It influences our thinking, our emotions, and our physical bodies. In some sense it feels like a dream come true. We feel that, finally, the hard years of experiencing the world alone have come to an end. The thing that we have longed for has been achieved. We now have a partner, someone who can share, understand, and appreciate our most private experiences. The world suddenly seems like a happier and more secure place. The beginning stages of a relationship can bring a precious sense of connection – but when that phone call doesn’t come, when a plan goes awry, when the wrong words are spoken, the emotional high can turn swiftly into a feeling of devastation. Being in love can have its down side. Over time the physical stage of the relationship is typically replaced by a period of getting to know more about other aspects of our partner’s personality. Some of these characteristics are endearing to us – and others irritate us. We learn how our partner attends to the demands of everyday life, and we learn that he or she [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>(6) Ways to Increase Intimacy and Escape the &#8216;Roommate&#8217; Syndrome</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/6-ways-to-increase-intimacy-and-escape-the-roommate-syndrome/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/6-ways-to-increase-intimacy-and-escape-the-roommate-syndrome/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 Jul 2018 21:23:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4148</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you felt like you and your partner are more like roommates than intimate companions? Watching Netflix in your sweatpants while your partner plays a game on their cell phone sounds like a hot date, right? Not exactly. There is not a lot about that scenario radiating romance. What it does portray is a mutual level of extreme comfort you and your partner have embraced. Of course, nothing is wrong with feeling comfortable around your partner. Actually, you want to be comfortable with each other. But you also want to nurture the intimate connection you have and acting like roommates simply doesn’t do that. If you feel stuck in the ‘roommate rut’, try these suggestions: 1. Get in the Right Frame of Mind The roommate rut starts in your mind. To dig your way out of the rut, you first have to change the way you think about your relationship. To begin, stop thinking you’ve “arrived” in your relationship. No relationship ever arrives. But it can grow and move in new and exciting directions. There are always more adventures to be had and plenty more chapters to be written. Adopt a mindset that forces you to think of your partner differently. For instance, explore and learn more about them on a deeper level – their dreams, personal goals and struggles, fantasies, and wishes. And really listen to what they say.  One way to make your partner feel like they matter to you is to occasionally repeat back what you heard them saying to make sure you understood them. 2. Connect When You&#8217;re Apart Keeping a relationship healthy includes maintaining the connection while things are good between you and when they&#8217;re not. So, make a point to reach out to your partner during the course of the day. Instead of text messaging, it&#8217;s better to call if you can. A ten second phone call and hearing the sound of each other’s voice is sometimes all that it takes for partners feel cared about, even they&#8217;re fighting. If they can&#8217;t answer leave a message that you were thinking of them. Either way, [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Should We Move In Together &#8211; (12) Questions</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/should-we-move-in-together-12-questions/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/should-we-move-in-together-12-questions/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jul 2018 23:22:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FINANCES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living together]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4142</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; Many couples take the big step of moving in together without first considering the full ramification of the decision. When you started dating, you most likely each had your own space to live. Now, though, you will be sharing a space together. How you both communicate, resolve conflict, and deal with emotional and day-to-day stress are important considerations. That’s why it’s crucial to have several discussion about this big decision. Consider these (12) questions: 1. How Do We Get Along? This is a question you might not have considered before, but it’s still important. How do you both get along with each other on a day-to-day basis? Are you fairly agreeable with one another or is there conflict? Remember that you will be living with each other—and seeing each other—a lot. 2. Do We Communicate Effectively? The next question to ask is whether or not your communication skills are effective as a couple. It’s easy to sit on the couch together watching TV while making small-talk. Yet, effective communication requires listening, understanding, and problem-solving. Most especially, it requires that you have empathy for the other person. 3. Have We Practiced Problem-Solving Together? What’s the biggest problem you have had together? Were you both satisfied with the results? Knowing how to problem-solve is an important skill for any couple. There are always challenges that arise when sharing a home together. Consider how you each approach solving problems individually and as a couple. If you are unsure, then it’s time to put yourselves in some test situations. For instance, if you haven’t already done so, go on a trip together or plan a dinner party, and see what happens. 4. How Do We Cope with Stress? Another benefit of placing yourselves in challenging situations is learning how you cope with stress. Again, this includes you both as individuals and as a couple. Does one of you get angry while the other shuts down? How do you communicate your stress to each other, if at all? Think about specific situations and how you might handle them. For example, what if one of you gets [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Can Money Buy Happiness?</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/can-money-buy-happiness/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/can-money-buy-happiness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Jan 2017 00:44:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[greed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wealth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3722</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The simple answer to this question is &#8216;No&#8217;. In most cases money can’t buy true happiness. It seldom if ever makes a bad relationship good, nor can it improve intimacy in a relationship. People with the highest incomes often have to work long hours, and many of them quit these jobs and find work that brings them greater life satisfaction. Once we adapt to higher incomes, it can soon lose its appeal. After a promotion  and higher salary, a person often feels greater life satisfaction and happiness but in less than about three months, the higher salary can lose its impact on happiness levels. Once we have a higher income we can take it for granted. As we accumulate more material possessions, our expectations rise. The things we once worked so hard for no longer make us happy. Our marriage and our relationships with our children suffer when our primary focus is making or having more wealth. Then we work even harder to get to the next level. And the same thing happens – we adapt to the higher level, and then within three months or so our happiness levels drop again. We end up on a treadmill, working harder and searching for more, then adapting to the higher levels. Happiness is hard to find if we look for it through monetary gain and material possessions. Making money can be like a drug addiction. We need more and more – and then we adapt to the higher levels. It becomes a never-ending cycle. If we grew up in an emotionally empty home and then succeed later in life, the financial wealth we have today can&#8217;t erase our history.The emotional pain and emptiness from our childhood remains. In fact, the more money we have, the more we a vulnerable to feeling the emptiness because of the contrast between our internal and external worlds. Finding happiness, either within ourselves or in our relationship, does not lie in making more money. It is found within. When money doesn&#8217;t improve the quality of your life, there are many other ways to achieve a more [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Finding Happiness</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/finding-happiness/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/finding-happiness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 05 Nov 2016 23:35:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[character]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[charater strength]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happiness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3408</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Most people seek a life filled with meaning, contentment, gratification, and pleasure. We strive to reach society&#8217;s milestones of success &#8211; a college graduation; marriage; family; job promotion; buying a home – but these achievements don’t always bring us the happiness we expected. And although we&#8217;re successful by world standards &#8211; able to drive nice cars, live in large, clean houses, and have access to entertainment – many of us still experience higher levels of stress. Pushing ourselves to achieve &#8216;bigger and better&#8217;, we reach another goal only to find that it too doesn&#8217;t bring us the happiness we hoped for. We discover that money doesn&#8217;t buy us the happiness we thought it could. Sometimes this cycle leaves us feeling just the opposite &#8211; depressed or anxious or angry. However, recent research has focused on how a person can work toward a happier life. Identifying Your Personal Strengths Martin Seligman and his associates at the University of Pennsylvania base ‘Positive Psychology’ on years of research into what makes people happy.  They have concluded that happiness is an internal experience based on staying true to one’s genuine or authentic self.  In other words, when we can use our strongest abilities, or “signature strengths”, we have a chance to feel genuinely happy. They have identified the following twenty-four signature strengths that are found in cultures across the world. Identify the two or three that suit you best. To work toward authentic happiness, try to see how you can incorporate these strengths into your daily life experiences. 1.    Curiosity / Interest in the World. Curiosity suggests being open to experience and flexibility in dealing with ideas that do not fit your preconceived notions about the world. Curious people not only tolerate ambiguity well, but they seek it out and are attracted by it. Curiosity implies an active involvement in learning about new information, not just a passive interest in new things, and it is the opposite of being bored. 2.    Love of Learning. This strength refers to the strong enjoyment of learning new things, and it implies that you seek out learning wherever [&#8230;]]]></description>
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