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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; divorce</title>
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	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>Losing Your Relationship  &#8211; Aftermath of Divorce</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/losing-your-relationship-understanding-the-after-effects/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/losing-your-relationship-understanding-the-after-effects/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Jan 2019 02:31:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GRIEF & LOSS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grief and loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marraige counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4239</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Most divorcing people are forced to come to terms with a number of fears. What will people say? Who can I trust to talk to? How can I handle my partner&#8217;s anger toward me? How do I deal with my own anger? Am I a complete failure? How can I be a single parent? Will I be able to keep my children? What about money? Can I do the banking and buy groceries and pay bills and fix the car? Can I handle my loneliness? Am I completely unlovable? Will I ever love anyone else again? Do I have the energy for this much change? When we hold on to our fears and refuse to do anything about them, we increase the likelihood that these will be the very areas where we experience trouble. Loneliness The loneliness one experiences at the time of divorce can feel immeasurable. The finality of the marriage, the uncertainty about the future, and the knowledge that your partner will no longer be there to comfort you or to spend time with you, can all contribute to an empty feeling that will not go away. The clue is to change loneliness to aloneness, to change the emptiness to a feeling of peace, contentment, and fulfillment. Looking into oneself and liking what one sees is a key to making the shift to aloneness. (Get into being alone. It is a precious but tenuous gift that can disappear far too quickly from one&#8217;s life.) Friendship Divorce is a true test of just who your real friends are. It is important to draw on the emotional support of friends during a divorce. Unfortunately, many of your friends were those who knew you as a couple and they often must choose between you. Even those who try to stay neutral find it difficult. Many may feel that your divorce somehow threatens their own marriages and some friends may now find it difficult to relate to you as a single person. Not only that, but you may find it difficult to trust others during a divorce. Getting out, feeling free, and [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Devastated by Divorce? How Self-Care Can Help You Heal</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/devastated-by-divorce-how-self-care-can-help-you-heal/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/devastated-by-divorce-how-self-care-can-help-you-heal/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 May 2018 22:50:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[after the divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce recovery]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4071</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; After a divorce, you are faced with an unknown frontier. A shared future, once planned and full of possibilities for discovery and passion, is forever changed. Perhaps your journey now feels scary and uncertain. You’re standing at the starting line again. Alone. Do you feel as though you’ve lost a big piece of yourself or who you thought you were? It is that feeling that makes self-care after a divorce so crucial for your mental and emotional healing.  Why Is Self-Care a Vital Part of the Healing Process? After a divorce, you are tackling the world and figuring out a new path for yourself on your own. Going forward and building a new life for yourself requires being as strong as you can be, both mentally and emotionally. And beginning the healing process by looking inward will help you in your outward journey to happiness and feeling whole once more. Divorce can stir up buried emotions or create new feelings that may be crippling to our sense of self. These can include feeling hopeless or helpless that the future can be brighter or anxiety about moving on alone or guilt that you could have or should have done more to save your marriage. Before you can begin your pursuit of a new life in earnest, acknowledging, accepting, and processing these or other emotions you might have will be vital. Self-Care for the Healing Process How you go about your self-care looks will different from what others do for themselves. Finding what works best for you may take a little time. For example will a divorce recovery group or individual counseling or being among friends or going it alone be the best route? But ultimately, your self-care regimen will be your guide through the healing process of divorce recovery. Consider these helpful self-care steps: 1) Allow yourself to grieve Divorce is a trauma. No need to always put on a brave face. Sometimes, we feel guilty or ashamed to grieve. It may seem to be a sign of weakness, which can be especially true for men. However, grief is a natural reaction to the [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>How to Talk to Children About Divorce</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/how-to-talk-to-children-about-divorce/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/how-to-talk-to-children-about-divorce/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 13 Jan 2017 21:58:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children and divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[co-parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3684</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Children are deeply affected by their parents’ divorce. They tend to handle the divorce better, however, when both parents cooperate and act in their children’s best interest. Together, parents should develop a plan beforehand about how they will talk to the children, be prepared to patiently answer all of the children’s questions and the likelihood of intense emotions. Both parents should be present when the children are told and parents’ mood should be calm, rational, and supportive. Hostility between the parents should be avoided. Children should not be told about why their parents’ are divorcing at this time. Keep in mind that children often feel responsible for their parent’s divorce. For example that their misbehavior is the cause of the divorce. They need to be assured repeatedly, both when they are told about the divorce and then throughout the divorce process, that the divorce is not their responsibility, and that they will always be loved by both parents. Rona Subotnik and Gloria Harris, in their book Surviving Infidelity provide guidelines for helping children through the divorce process: Children should be told of the decision jointly by both parents without hostility or anger. They should not be put in the middle of adult conflicts by telling them about why the . Children need to know they are not responsible for the breakup of the marriage. Children should be told that it is the parents’ decision, and they cannot change it. Children need to know their parents still love them even though they no longer love each other. Children should be given concrete information about how their lives will change. Parents should listen to children’s concerns, and try to minimize disruption in their lives. Children should not be asked to take sides, carry messages, or become your confidants. Children should be given permission to love and enjoy the relationship with your former spouse and his or her family. Try to find positive things to say about them.  A Suggestion Talking to children about divorce is difficult. Everyone involved can have a wide range of emotional reactions that will be unique to the [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Infidelity &#8211; Can the Relationship Survive?</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/relationships-sex/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/relationships-sex/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Nov 2016 03:23:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Porn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIP THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional affairs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[office romance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3611</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The single most destructive threat to a committed relationship is when one of the partners engages in an intimate relationship with another person. This is not an uncommon event. Conservative estimates suggest that about a quarter of women, and a third of men, have violated their marital commitment to their partners. About 65 percent of marriages struck by infidelity end in divorce. The impact on the lives of those involved with infidelity is enormous. It violates the integrity, trust, and commitment upon which marriage is based. When two people enter into a committed relationship, they make a promise to love and honor each other. This involves making a heart-felt promise to work through the problems that are sure to arise within the relationship. To break that promise means dishonoring the trust of the person who has agreed to live with you and build a life together. When an extramarital affair is discovered, a crisis ensues. Now the question is – can this relationship continue? In more than half the cases, the relationship does end – but, depending on how this crisis is dealt with by both partners, the relationship does have a chance to continue. In some cases, this relationship crisis serves as a watershed event that opens the door to self-examination and honest communication that may put the relationship on stronger ground. Whether infidelity leads to dissolution of the relationship or, at the other extreme, a more positive outcome with a stronger commitment and better communication depends on many factors. One important variable is whether the partner who is unfaithful came from a family with infidelity. People with parents who were unfaithful are at higher risk for infidelity within their own relationships – although this is certainly not always the case, and many people from these families are determined never to repeat their parent’s mistake. Yet we learn many things in our families of origin, and one of those is to copy the behavior of our parents – and sometimes to act out our unresolved issues. Emotional Significance of the Affair Another factor that may determine whether a relationship [&#8230;]]]></description>
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