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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; counseling</title>
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	<link>https://www.better-relationships.com</link>
	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>The Positive Impact of Premarital Counseling – 7 Ways Your Relationship Can Benefit</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/the-positive-impact-of-premarital-counseling-7-ways-your-relationship-can-benefit/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/the-positive-impact-of-premarital-counseling-7-ways-your-relationship-can-benefit/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Mar 2018 01:38:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FINANCES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIP THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[premarital counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wedding plans]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3957</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Many couples consider premarital counseling as something for those who really don’t know what they want out of a marriage. Yet, that is far from the truth. In reality, premarital counseling should be a prerequisite for any couple looking to get married. How can it benefit and strengthen your relationship? #1: Refining Communication Skills Knowing how to communicate effectively is a never-ending challenge in most aspects of life. Even for people who are already experienced communicators, marriage poses its unique communication challenges. Some potential problem areas include: Listening Skills: While your partner can repeat what you just said, you still don’t feel that they heard you. Can you openly discuss your ideas, thoughts and feelings without being criticized? Do you have effective conflict resolution skills? Do you keep fighting about the same thing? Do you fight fair? What topics do you agree on and what do you fight about? Do you expect your partner to know what you’re thinking or feeling? (aka ‘mind-reading’) #2: Aligning Your Outlooks on Life Premarital counseling helps partners determine if their overall goals and outlooks on marriage are, in general, compatible and if not, is change feasible? Things to consider include: Lifestyle differences: Talk together about this example: One partner is energetic, socially active and fantasizes about running for public office. The other partner is more introverted and prefers a much quieter lifestyle. Could this couple be happy together? Are you both willing to accommodate the other’s points of view? What will happen if she or he cannot change? Who has more influence now and does this need to change after marriage? How are decisions made? Do you enjoy some of the same activities? If not, are you willing to try to participate in what your partner enjoys? Are both of you content with the amount of time you have to relax? Are you free to spend some time apart and enjoy your own friends and hobbies? Is your partner responsible for your happiness, and if so, how will he or she do that? The dating process helps with sorting out some of these issues. [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Toxic Communication Patterns</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/toxic-communication-patterns/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/toxic-communication-patterns/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Feb 2017 02:40:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIP THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dirty fighting in relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[supportive communication]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3793</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dirty fighting can weaken and ultimately break a relationship in the same way that rust weakens a piece of metal. Dirty fighting breaks the bonds of intimacy and causes cracks in the foundation of the relationship. These cracks spread and just like rusty metal eventually breaks apart, at some point the relationship collapses. Both of you ultimately suffer. Here are some toxic communication patterns to avoid: Timing You try to catch your partner off guard. You look for a time when your partner is least able to respond or least expects an argument, for example you call them at work and start an argument. Escalation You quickly move from the main argument to questioning your partner’s personality and then move on to wondering if the relationship is worth it. Overwhelm Instead of sticking with the original issues you bring up as many issues as possible in great detail. You try to overwhelm the other person so that they can’t argue effectively. Exaggerate You draw the worst possible conclusions regarding the relationship. The issue gets blown out of proportion and you talk about catastrophes. Question You treat your partner like a child, making them feel like they are incapable of an adult relationship. “Why can’t you just love me like he loves her?” Complain When your partner complains, you respond with a complaint of your own instead of addressing the issues. “So what if I forgot to make the bed. What about all the times you haven’t helped me clean?” Over-Generalize Instead of focusing on the issue at hand, you use words like “never” and “always” and try to force your partner to defend themselves. “You never do anything in the relationship.” Blame You take the position of &#8216;victim&#8217;. You don’t admit to your part in the conflict and refuse to change. “It’s always your fault. If our relationship is going to improve you have to change – not me.” Mind Reading You become the expert on what your partner is thinking or feeling. “You’re not really angry.” This way you avoid talking about your partner’s anger or taking responsibility for [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Finding Intimacy</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/finding-intimacy/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/finding-intimacy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 03 Dec 2016 23:28:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3643</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Many people search for that special intimacy in their relationship. Some of us search our entire lives for a feeling of oneness with another person. It’s hard to describe, really, what we search for, but we know it when we finally achieve it. Maybe we tire of that dark feeling of being alone as we struggle through life. If only there were someone else here, we say to ourselves, who could understand and share these burdens. Then it wouldn’t be so lonely. It wouldn’t be so hard. Or perhaps, in our more positive moments, we want to share not just the burdens but our pleasures too, our strength and beauty. We want the powerful impact of our internal experience to have an impression on someone else, as if to say that we count, we are whole, and we want to impart this feeling to another person. Humans are social beings. Is that why we search for intimacy with others? Is the quest for intimacy the reason we commit ourselves to another person in marriage or some other public declaration of loyalty? In trying to find intimacy, are we simply searching again for the ultimate feeling of bonding that we felt toward a parent during our infancy? The search for intimacy may be one reason we form social groups, and it may explain why we quest for spiritual fulfillment in our lives. Many people in contemporary society feel lonely. For all the benefits we derive from living in a highly technological world, with seemingly instant and complete communication with others, we still may find it difficult to discover ways to form intimate relationships. In fact, our high tech society seems to fragment our social connections, to drive us away from other people. For example, texting seems to make connecting with other people much easier, but in truth our messages are usually just flashes of ideas – briefly written, briefly read, and instantaneously deleted – and they barely fulfill our desire for more complete relationships. Our high tech world has brought us an abundance of stress. We’re conditioned to expect immediate responses [&#8230;]]]></description>
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