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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; coping with a breakup</title>
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	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>Recovery From a Breakup</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/after-a-breakup/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/after-a-breakup/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Oct 2016 22:25:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[GRIEF & LOSS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[breakup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with a breakup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ending a relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[losing your relationship]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Most couples who end their long term relations are forced to come to terms with a number of fears. &#8220;What will people say? Who can I trust to talk to? How can I handle my partner’s anger toward me? How can I deal with my own anger? Am I a complete failure? How can I be a single parent? Will I be able to keep my children? What about money? Can I handle my loneliness? Am I completely unlovable? Will I ever love anyone else again? Do I have the energy for this much change?&#8221; When we hold on to our fears and refuse to do anything about them we increase the likelihood that these will be the very areas where we experience trouble. Loneliness The loneliness after a breakup can feel intolerable. The finality of the relationship, the uncertainty about the future and the knowledge that your partner will no longer be there to comfort you or to spend time with you, can all contribute to an empty feeling that won’t easily go away. An effective way to cope with a breakup is to redefine what’s happened. For example, redefine ‘loneliness’ as ‘aloneness’ and realize that being alone gives you freedom to create a new future. In the same way, you can redefine ‘emptiness’ as a feeling of peace, contentment and fulfillment. Looking into oneself and liking what one sees is a key to making the shift to aloneness. Get into being alone. It is a precious but tenuous gift that can disappear to quickly from one’s life. Friendships The end of your relationship is a true test of just who your friends really are. It is important to draw on the emotional support of friends during and after a breakup. Unfortunately many of your friends were those who knew you as a couple &#8211; and now they often must choose between you. Even those who try to stay neutral may find this to be difficult. Many of them may feel that your breakup will somehow threaten their own relationship and some friends may now find it hard to [&#8230;]]]></description>
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