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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; communication</title>
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	<link>https://www.better-relationships.com</link>
	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>Procrastination Hurts Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/procrastination-hurts-relationships-2/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/procrastination-hurts-relationships-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 May 2020 03:14:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIP THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[procrastination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quarantine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4385</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Almost every relationship has been affected by procrastination at one time or another–when one or both partners put responsibilities off to another day or time, only to endlessly delay completing the task at hand. For some people it is a persistent problem, while for others it happens only in certain areas of their lives such as their relationship. It can cause suffering in a committed relationship, when one partner delays or avoids keeping promises or agreements, putting the relationship at risk. And relationships outside the home also requiring teamwork such as friendships; at work and in the community, can suffer. Being unreliable can jeopardize one’s personal reputation, making a partner, friend or coworker lose trust in the procrastinator. There are better ways of dealing with the demands of our everyday lives with needs of our partner, friends and coworkers, once we accept that we are a procrastinator and make a commitment to change. There is a relationship between anxiety and procrastination. It is no surprise that people who fear failure have the problem, as well as people with low self-esteem.  People who are easily frustrated or need instant gratification or cannot concentrate all have difficulty completing tasks. Those who have conflicts with authority figures and are rebellious are inclined to procrastinate. Procrastinators make excuses. When we procrastinate, we are neither carrying out things that need to be done nor are we confronting the underlying reasons for our procrastination. So, what do we tell ourselves to justify our behavior? We may use any of several excuses – and here are some common ones: Getting Bogged Down in Trivia We spend our time on easy tasks and say that we are so busy that we cannot get to the major project. We might answer phone calls, read e-mails, clean the living room, have lunch – anything that we find simple and are emotionally prepared to do – rather than facing the task that we really have to do. We tell ourselves that we simply had to clear up these trivial tasks before tackling our project and there was no time left. Thus, [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sometimes Love Is Not Enough</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/sometimes-love-is-not-enough/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/sometimes-love-is-not-enough/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2020 00:54:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4349</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When we make a commitment to our partner, our usual expectation is that our relationship will last for life and that our love will see us through the inevitable hard times. Yet, when reality sinks in, we have to acknowledge that while love is one of the components of a relationship’s longevity, it really takes more to make it through the long haul. It takes skills that many of us haven&#8217;t learned. We don&#8217;t know how to negotiate our way through relationship difficulties to build a lasting connection, but we can learn. Substantial research over the past several decades has focused on understanding the secrets of why some couples stay together and others don&#8217;t. For instance, John Gottman, Ph.D., at the University of Washington, studied over 2,000 couples, and has had remarkable success in predicting which couples will make it and which will not. One of Gottman’s major findings is that couples who fight are not necessarily on the road to a breakup. In fact, he makes the point that arguments may be constructive in building a long-term relationship because they help us to clarify our needs and increase mutual respect between partners. Other finding showed that increased sex does not necessarily improve a relationship, and that financial problems do not always imply trouble for a couple. But whether the arguments will lead to a breakup or not depends on how the couple resolves its conflicts. There are positive ways to resolve conflicts that may strengthen the relationship. This research also showed that couples are likely to succeed if they have a healthy balance between positive and negative emotions and interactions. Strong relationships have a five to one ratio – five parts positive interaction to one part negative. Couples who break up, on the other hand, tend to have more negative than positive interactions. Positive Behaviors in a Relationship Showing interest in what your partner is saying, Expressing affection to your partner both verbally (“I love you”) and non-verbally (holding hands, doing kind little things), Showing you care – perhaps by making a phone call during the day or bringing [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Being Assertive</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/being-assertive/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/being-assertive/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 05 Aug 2019 23:43:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aggressive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[assertiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dealing with insults]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-assertion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-esteem]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4331</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you ever heard yourself say, “I’m a nice person. I’m a polite person. I’d never intentionally do anything to hurt anybody. So why don’t other people give me the respect I deserve?” The problem could well be due to a difficulty with assertion. Maybe you aren’t showing your nice, polite, and respectful qualities to other people. Unless they can see who you truly are, underneath it all, other people might not know how you expect to be treated. And this can lead to some unhappy experiences. At the heart of assertion (also known as assertiveness) is your ability to know who you are and what you stand for – and then to express these qualities effectively in everyday interactions with other people. Expressing yourself effectively involves maintaining respect for the rights and feelings of others. Assertion is not aggression. People who are assertive know that they can deal with the world much more effectively if they do not resort to violence or other aggressive responses. In many ways, assertiveness is the exact opposite of aggression – assertion enhances constructive communication and cooperation between people, while aggression shuts it down. And assertion is not manipulation. Most people are aware, at some level, when they are being manipulated – which can lead to distrust and a lack of respect, for both parties. Manipulation involves hiding behind a mask. Assertion means tearing off the mask and happily announcing to the world who you truly are. Assertion is reality-tested freedom. We see instances of non-assertive behavior around us every day. Most people who lack an assertive style are simply those who want to keep the peace. For the most part, they want goodness and cooperation between people. However, they often pay a high price for this in terms of functioning effectively in the world. There are negative consequences associated with the non-assertive style. For example, those who are not assertive allow their feelings and boundaries to be violated by others. They believe that they do not have the right to their own feelings, beliefs or opinions – and even if they do, they [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>No Secrets &#8230; Telling the Truth in Our Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Apr 2019 22:40:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[falling in love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4299</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; When we commit ourselves to a relationship with another person, we rightly expect to experience a sense of fulfillment that we didn’t have before. Humans, as social beings, seem to have a universal desire to find a partner. Sexual attraction often serves as the motivator for making initial contact with the other person, and this is usually replaced over time with a deeper sense of commitment and intimacy. It comes as a terrible disappointment to some people when the sexual phase of their relationship fails to lead in time to something deeper. The task, then, is to understand the forces which block the development of a deeper sense of intimacy – and to do something about it. Fortunately, with some work – and it’s often hard work – couples can learn to move into the stage of deeper sharing and more fulfillment in their relationships. From Excitement to Reality The excitement which comes with entering a new relationship touches us at the core of our being. It influences our thinking, our emotions, and our physical bodies. In some sense it feels like a dream come true. We feel that, finally, the hard years of experiencing the world alone have come to an end. The thing that we have longed for has been achieved. We now have a partner, someone who can share, understand, and appreciate our most private experiences. The world suddenly seems like a happier and more secure place. The beginning stages of a relationship can bring a precious sense of connection – but when that phone call doesn’t come, when a plan goes awry, when the wrong words are spoken, the emotional high can turn swiftly into a feeling of devastation. Being in love can have its down side. Over time the physical stage of the relationship is typically replaced by a period of getting to know more about other aspects of our partner’s personality. Some of these characteristics are endearing to us – and others irritate us. We learn how our partner attends to the demands of everyday life, and we learn that he or she [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
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		<title>Actively Listening &#8211; the Other Half of Effective Communication</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/actively-listening-the-other-half-of-effective-communication/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/actively-listening-the-other-half-of-effective-communication/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Mar 2019 23:41:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PARENTING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[concentration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conversation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[language art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[listening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pay attention]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[understanding]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4274</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[  Active Communication Requires One Person to Talk and the Other to Listen &#8230; and Both to Do Their Parts Well Listening is the other half of communication. Our first thought, when we think about communication, may be to consider the speaker’s ability to convey ideas effectively. What we often forget is that without a listener the speaker may as well be talking to the wind. Just as effective speaking is an acquired skill, so is good listening. Some do it better than others. But all of us can learn to enrich our own listening skills. Think about what happens when you hear someone speak. You pay attention to the person’s appearance, to activity in the background, to what you did earlier in the day, to a conversation you had with someone else, or to your counterargument, and how you will present it. Your mind flits from topic to topic as you take in only fragments of what the other person says. It seems a wonder that people understand each other as well as they do. The speaker conveys only a portion of the real meaning of an intended idea – and the listener may pick up on only a fraction of the information transmitted. We think we know what the speaker was trying to say, but often we are absolutely wrong. Have you ever played the “rumor game” in a large circle? The first person whispers a message to the next in line, and this message goes from person to person until it gets to the end of the circle. Something like “two kittens were playing with a ball of string” easily mutates into “the lion sleeps tonight” as the message is relayed around the circle.) Listening is itself a form of communication Listening to another person sends the message that you care and that you are truly interested in the other person’s ideas. Without the ability to listen effectively, true intimacy and mutual respect between partners, two of the hallmarks of a successful relationship, are not even possible. When you fail to listen to your partner, you may [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>7 Tips for Ending a Love Relationship with Grace, Dignity and Compassion</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/7-tips-for-ending-a-love-relationship-with-grace-dignity-and-compassion/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/7-tips-for-ending-a-love-relationship-with-grace-dignity-and-compassion/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 22 Sep 2018 20:25:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ending a relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4184</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It’s not uncommon to fall out of love with someone. Even though you have been close for a long time, you may feel that now is the time to end the relationship. The question then becomes, what’s the best way to go about it? Even if you feel that you’re no longer in love, you probably still care for your partner to a degree, and you want to break up on as best of terms as possible. Here are some tips on how you can end your love relationship with grace, dignity, and compassion. 1. Talk with Your Partner Face to Face If you feel safe doing so, talking to your partner face-to-face about how you feel is very important. At the same time, though, it can be very hard. That’s to be expected. After all, ending a relationship, especially one where partners have been together for a while, is never easy. That’s why you owe it to your partner to do it in person, rather than over the phone, messenger, or even text message (yes, it happens!). 2. Prepare for It Before you have this difficult conversation, take the time to organize your thoughts. Write down some notes, or an outline, for why you are making this decision. You don’t have to read directly from it when the time comes. Although, it can be helpful as a guide in the moment. Also, don’t focus on the negative reasons why you are ending the relationship. Let your partner know all of the positive things that you think in connection with them and how much you have appreciated their presence. 3. Make it About Yourself Don’t blame your partner for the relationship ending. Instead, make it about yourself and give your reasons why. Putting all of the blame on your partner for the relationship ending isn’t fair, as they are not the one deciding to call it quits. It’s certainly not a way to show grace, dignity, and compassion. In fact, it will guarantee to drive a wedge between you and your ex-partner, only creating an emotional wound. Instead, own your [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>(6) Ways to Increase Intimacy and Escape the &#8216;Roommate&#8217; Syndrome</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/6-ways-to-increase-intimacy-and-escape-the-roommate-syndrome/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/6-ways-to-increase-intimacy-and-escape-the-roommate-syndrome/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 Jul 2018 21:23:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4148</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you felt like you and your partner are more like roommates than intimate companions? Watching Netflix in your sweatpants while your partner plays a game on their cell phone sounds like a hot date, right? Not exactly. There is not a lot about that scenario radiating romance. What it does portray is a mutual level of extreme comfort you and your partner have embraced. Of course, nothing is wrong with feeling comfortable around your partner. Actually, you want to be comfortable with each other. But you also want to nurture the intimate connection you have and acting like roommates simply doesn’t do that. If you feel stuck in the ‘roommate rut’, try these suggestions: 1. Get in the Right Frame of Mind The roommate rut starts in your mind. To dig your way out of the rut, you first have to change the way you think about your relationship. To begin, stop thinking you’ve “arrived” in your relationship. No relationship ever arrives. But it can grow and move in new and exciting directions. There are always more adventures to be had and plenty more chapters to be written. Adopt a mindset that forces you to think of your partner differently. For instance, explore and learn more about them on a deeper level – their dreams, personal goals and struggles, fantasies, and wishes. And really listen to what they say.  One way to make your partner feel like they matter to you is to occasionally repeat back what you heard them saying to make sure you understood them. 2. Connect When You&#8217;re Apart Keeping a relationship healthy includes maintaining the connection while things are good between you and when they&#8217;re not. So, make a point to reach out to your partner during the course of the day. Instead of text messaging, it&#8217;s better to call if you can. A ten second phone call and hearing the sound of each other’s voice is sometimes all that it takes for partners feel cared about, even they&#8217;re fighting. If they can&#8217;t answer leave a message that you were thinking of them. Either way, [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Should We Move In Together &#8211; (12) Questions</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/should-we-move-in-together-12-questions/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/should-we-move-in-together-12-questions/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jul 2018 23:22:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FINANCES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living together]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4142</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; Many couples take the big step of moving in together without first considering the full ramification of the decision. When you started dating, you most likely each had your own space to live. Now, though, you will be sharing a space together. How you both communicate, resolve conflict, and deal with emotional and day-to-day stress are important considerations. That’s why it’s crucial to have several discussion about this big decision. Consider these (12) questions: 1. How Do We Get Along? This is a question you might not have considered before, but it’s still important. How do you both get along with each other on a day-to-day basis? Are you fairly agreeable with one another or is there conflict? Remember that you will be living with each other—and seeing each other—a lot. 2. Do We Communicate Effectively? The next question to ask is whether or not your communication skills are effective as a couple. It’s easy to sit on the couch together watching TV while making small-talk. Yet, effective communication requires listening, understanding, and problem-solving. Most especially, it requires that you have empathy for the other person. 3. Have We Practiced Problem-Solving Together? What’s the biggest problem you have had together? Were you both satisfied with the results? Knowing how to problem-solve is an important skill for any couple. There are always challenges that arise when sharing a home together. Consider how you each approach solving problems individually and as a couple. If you are unsure, then it’s time to put yourselves in some test situations. For instance, if you haven’t already done so, go on a trip together or plan a dinner party, and see what happens. 4. How Do We Cope with Stress? Another benefit of placing yourselves in challenging situations is learning how you cope with stress. Again, this includes you both as individuals and as a couple. Does one of you get angry while the other shuts down? How do you communicate your stress to each other, if at all? Think about specific situations and how you might handle them. For example, what if one of you gets [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Relationship Restoration: How to Forgive and Reconcile After an Affair</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/relationship-restoration-how-to-forgive-and-reconcile-after-an-affair/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/relationship-restoration-how-to-forgive-and-reconcile-after-an-affair/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jun 2018 00:36:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional affairs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to save my relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4128</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Words that describe reconciliation include &#8216;repair&#8217;, &#8216;heal&#8217;, &#8216;fix&#8217; &#8216;rebuild&#8217; and &#8216;restore&#8217;. Sometimes these terms even have a place at the international level, when two or more countries in conflict can find reconciliation after a war. The same can be said for partners whose relationship has been rocked by an affair. “War” may seem to be a strong word to apply to this situation. But just as in war, infidelity involves people who have very different perspectives. Despite having ongoing differences and difficulty, it is possible for couples to find forgiveness and reconcile after an affair. Here&#8217;s how this can happen: Be Honest with Each Other First, regardless of who was unfaithful, be honest with yourself and your partner if you have decided to, or you are considering leaving the relationship. Assuming neither of you wants to end the relationship, mutual honesty is vital. If you are the one who cheated, you need to be honest with your partner about what happened. Along with disclosing everything (except for the &#8216;gory sexual details&#8217;) that happened between you and the outside person, you must answer your partner&#8217;s questions quickly and to their full satisfaction. Of course, this won&#8217;t be easy for you, but your discomfort is very minor compared to how your partner is feeling. Your partner is likely to be in tremendous pain and it would be normal for them to ask you the same questions over and over again, as though they can&#8217;t remember what you&#8217;ve already said. The fact is, if your partner was traumatized by the betrayal, they may not be capable of remembering. So your partner will need to hear you answer the same question again and again. If you were betrayed, you need to be honest and open about your thoughts and feelings. Avoid the mistake of tying to bury what&#8217;s on your mind because it will be harder to express it later, plus you may forget something important. Don&#8217;t worry about being annoying or a burden to your partner. Rather, you need to be frank about how the affair has affected you. Be assertive about expressing your thoughts [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Emotional Unavailability – When Your Partner Doesn’t Show Feelings</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/emotional-unavailability-when-your-partner-doesnt-show-feelings/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/emotional-unavailability-when-your-partner-doesnt-show-feelings/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2018 01:40:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflcit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional availability]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional unavailability]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4066</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When we commit to a relationship, we usually expect that our partner will have roughly the same level of emotional involvement that we have. Many of us hope to find a soul-mate, a partner who can share and understand our feelings and ways of thinking on an intensely personal level. Others don’t expect such an intense level of involvement and feel more comfortable maintaining personal privacy in the relationship. Conflicts may arise when partners have different about how close they should become. One partner may feel emotionally stranded, feeling abandoned and craving more closeness, while the other partner may feel smothered or pressured into providing more of his or her emotional self than can possibly be given.  Healthy Relationship Phases The course of a relationship follows a predictable path. The early weeks, months, or even years of a relationship, in fact, are ideally a time of togetherness – when partners search for and experience the similarities that bring them together. It is common for a couple during this first phase to experience a level of emotional sharing so intense that they want to carry their relationship to a more committed level. The next stage, however, is when boundaries are established, when we focus on our differences and in maintaining our own individuality. Couples who can negotiate their way through both stages are moving toward a successful long-term commitment. Both of the initial stages typify a good relationship – the coming together phase, followed by the firming up of our own identities within the relationship. A solid relationship is one in which feelings can be readily expressed and shared while each of the partners is able to experience a sense of their own identities. Suddenly it’s Over All too often, however, there is a discrepancy between the two partners in terms of how much of their emotional life they make available to the other. When one partner is able to share emotionally and the other is not, usually the emotionally available partner feels more pain. Take the classic example of a couple who have an intense courtship. One partner lavishes the [&#8230;]]]></description>
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