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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; Uncategorized</title>
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	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>After You Cheated &#8211; (4) Keys to Coping with Your Partner&#8217;s Rage</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/after-you-cheated-4-keys-to-coping-with-your-partners-rage/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/after-you-cheated-4-keys-to-coping-with-your-partners-rage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Sep 2021 00:58:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[affair recovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional affairs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexual affairs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4195</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You knew this was going to be hard. After all, when you cheat on the person you love, there is going to be consequences. And this would involve more than a simple argument or disagreement. Your actions have damaged the core of your relationship. What your partner thought was stable, and perhaps even flourishing, actually had an unstable inner core that led to betrayal. That’s exactly how your partner is going to feel—betrayed—aside from a host of other emotions. When they finally get to know the truth, they are going to be angry. And you can’t blame them. No matter how uncomfortable the situation may get, it’s important for you to know how to adequately cope with that anger so that both of you can move forward. Consider these (4) keys to help you deal with their rage. Key #1: Expect the Worst to Happen Before even going into the discussion, take a moment to step back and think. Imagine what your partner will be feeling and experiencing when they find out you cheated. Those emotions may include: Anger Disgust Sadness Fear Confusion Try to visualize how the conversation will occur, what their reaction will be, and how you will respond. Also consider in which way you want to tell them and how you will express it. Having a plan established will give you something to work with and not leave you floundering when things get tense. Key #2: Accept That They Have a Right to Their Emotions When your partner rages at you because you cheated, it can seem really startling. This is especially true if you are not used to them being angry. It might be tempting for you to try to calm them down or even say that they are being “ridiculous.” That, however, would be a mistake. Keep in mind that when someone discovers that their partner has cheated its shocking news. The person whom they thought they could trust is no longer trustworthy at all. This means that all the emotions that they are experiencing rise to the surface at once. It’s a lot to handle, [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Sometimes Love Is Not Enough</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/sometimes-love-is-not-enough/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/sometimes-love-is-not-enough/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2020 00:54:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4349</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When we make a commitment to our partner, our usual expectation is that our relationship will last for life and that our love will see us through the inevitable hard times. Yet, when reality sinks in, we have to acknowledge that while love is one of the components of a relationship’s longevity, it really takes more to make it through the long haul. It takes skills that many of us haven&#8217;t learned. We don&#8217;t know how to negotiate our way through relationship difficulties to build a lasting connection, but we can learn. Substantial research over the past several decades has focused on understanding the secrets of why some couples stay together and others don&#8217;t. For instance, John Gottman, Ph.D., at the University of Washington, studied over 2,000 couples, and has had remarkable success in predicting which couples will make it and which will not. One of Gottman’s major findings is that couples who fight are not necessarily on the road to a breakup. In fact, he makes the point that arguments may be constructive in building a long-term relationship because they help us to clarify our needs and increase mutual respect between partners. Other finding showed that increased sex does not necessarily improve a relationship, and that financial problems do not always imply trouble for a couple. But whether the arguments will lead to a breakup or not depends on how the couple resolves its conflicts. There are positive ways to resolve conflicts that may strengthen the relationship. This research also showed that couples are likely to succeed if they have a healthy balance between positive and negative emotions and interactions. Strong relationships have a five to one ratio – five parts positive interaction to one part negative. Couples who break up, on the other hand, tend to have more negative than positive interactions. Positive Behaviors in a Relationship Showing interest in what your partner is saying, Expressing affection to your partner both verbally (“I love you”) and non-verbally (holding hands, doing kind little things), Showing you care – perhaps by making a phone call during the day or bringing [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Emotional Unavailability – When Your Partner Doesn’t Show Feelings</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/emotional-unavailability-when-your-partner-doesnt-show-feelings/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/emotional-unavailability-when-your-partner-doesnt-show-feelings/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2018 01:40:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflcit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional availability]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional unavailability]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4066</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When we commit to a relationship, we usually expect that our partner will have roughly the same level of emotional involvement that we have. Many of us hope to find a soul-mate, a partner who can share and understand our feelings and ways of thinking on an intensely personal level. Others don’t expect such an intense level of involvement and feel more comfortable maintaining personal privacy in the relationship. Conflicts may arise when partners have different about how close they should become. One partner may feel emotionally stranded, feeling abandoned and craving more closeness, while the other partner may feel smothered or pressured into providing more of his or her emotional self than can possibly be given.  Healthy Relationship Phases The course of a relationship follows a predictable path. The early weeks, months, or even years of a relationship, in fact, are ideally a time of togetherness – when partners search for and experience the similarities that bring them together. It is common for a couple during this first phase to experience a level of emotional sharing so intense that they want to carry their relationship to a more committed level. The next stage, however, is when boundaries are established, when we focus on our differences and in maintaining our own individuality. Couples who can negotiate their way through both stages are moving toward a successful long-term commitment. Both of the initial stages typify a good relationship – the coming together phase, followed by the firming up of our own identities within the relationship. A solid relationship is one in which feelings can be readily expressed and shared while each of the partners is able to experience a sense of their own identities. Suddenly it’s Over All too often, however, there is a discrepancy between the two partners in terms of how much of their emotional life they make available to the other. When one partner is able to share emotionally and the other is not, usually the emotionally available partner feels more pain. Take the classic example of a couple who have an intense courtship. One partner lavishes the [&#8230;]]]></description>
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