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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; MARRIAGE</title>
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	<link>https://www.better-relationships.com</link>
	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>Prevent Caregiver Stress &amp; Burnout</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/prevent-caregiver-stress-burnout/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/prevent-caregiver-stress-burnout/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Mar 2023 23:20:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PARENTING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[burnout]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Caregiver]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Caregiver burnout]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Caregiver fatigue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Caregiver Stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Elder care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fatigue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4429</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ways to Manage Caregiver Stress The following article is an excerpt from: A Caregiver’s Guide to Coping with Stress and Burnout &#8211; Caring.com (downloaded March 21, 2023 from Caring.com) &#160; Caregiver stress doesn’t just affect you mentally- it can also lead to physical problems, including chronic pain.  “The mind and body are connected. When you experience stress, there are a whole range of physiological changes — every organ in the body is affected,” says Vicki Rackner, a clinical faculty member of the University of Washington School of Medicine and the author of Caregiving Without Regrets. We recommend the following strategies to help you maintain your own wellness while supporting your loved one. Seek Professional Guidance and Support Groups Many people choose to seek the help of a therapist or support group to manage their caregiver stress. “That provides a safe, sympathetic, and constructive environment where caregivers can express their wants and needs,” says Darren Sush, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles. Support groups for caregivers, even highly tailored ones such as for Alzheimer’s caregivers or particularly for men, may also be available in your area, though most caregivers find it difficult to get out of the house for support groups in their limited free time. Ask at local hospitals, senior centers, places of worship, or the Alzheimer’s Association. Ask Family and Friends for Help Find others who can step in and give you a break. It can be hard to ask for help, but know that your good friends and family want you to be happy. Not only will it give you some time to relax, but those filling in will better understand both your needs and your care recipient’s needs. Make sure to express your gratitude: It’s sometimes a good idea to compensate family or friends informally with things like gift cards, a bag of their favorite coffee, or a dessert to-go. When approaching potential helpers, be specific about what’s required and get a solid commitment about the days and times they’re available to avoid uncomfortable arguments down the road. Bring Your Employer Into the Loop Caregivers are often [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>After You Cheated &#8211; (4) Keys to Coping with Your Partner&#8217;s Rage</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/after-you-cheated-4-keys-to-coping-with-your-partners-rage/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/after-you-cheated-4-keys-to-coping-with-your-partners-rage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Sep 2021 00:58:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[affair recovery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional affairs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexual affairs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4195</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You knew this was going to be hard. After all, when you cheat on the person you love, there is going to be consequences. And this would involve more than a simple argument or disagreement. Your actions have damaged the core of your relationship. What your partner thought was stable, and perhaps even flourishing, actually had an unstable inner core that led to betrayal. That’s exactly how your partner is going to feel—betrayed—aside from a host of other emotions. When they finally get to know the truth, they are going to be angry. And you can’t blame them. No matter how uncomfortable the situation may get, it’s important for you to know how to adequately cope with that anger so that both of you can move forward. Consider these (4) keys to help you deal with their rage. Key #1: Expect the Worst to Happen Before even going into the discussion, take a moment to step back and think. Imagine what your partner will be feeling and experiencing when they find out you cheated. Those emotions may include: Anger Disgust Sadness Fear Confusion Try to visualize how the conversation will occur, what their reaction will be, and how you will respond. Also consider in which way you want to tell them and how you will express it. Having a plan established will give you something to work with and not leave you floundering when things get tense. Key #2: Accept That They Have a Right to Their Emotions When your partner rages at you because you cheated, it can seem really startling. This is especially true if you are not used to them being angry. It might be tempting for you to try to calm them down or even say that they are being “ridiculous.” That, however, would be a mistake. Keep in mind that when someone discovers that their partner has cheated its shocking news. The person whom they thought they could trust is no longer trustworthy at all. This means that all the emotions that they are experiencing rise to the surface at once. It’s a lot to handle, [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Worry, Worry</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/worry-worry/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/worry-worry/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Sep 2020 22:24:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ADDICTIONS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to manage worry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[OCD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PTSD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[worry]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4394</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It’s a good thing that almost all of us worry. Think of worry as a built-in alarm device. When it is used wisely, it alerts us to danger and prompts us to navigate our way through a maze of solutions to life’s various problems. We need to think through our options when we are faced with problems, weighing the benefits and pitfalls of each alternative, and then come up with the best solution. From there we take action which, we hope, solves the problem. Worry is helpful when it is used at the right time and at the right level for resolving our difficulties. Like many things in life, however, too little worry, or too much of it, can be harmful. Too Little Too little worry can result in impulsive decisions which may result in unfortunate consequences. Indeed, some people are high risk-takers who may not worry enough about problems – they may win, but just as often, they lose. Others avoid worry through substance abuse or other addictive behaviors and then lack the motivation and insight to deal realistically with life’s expected problems. Similarly, a laid-back, come-what-may approach, while it has some merits, sometimes suggests passivity and a lack of ability to participate in the complexities of life&#8217;s experiences. Too Much As we all know, some people worry too much. Rather than solving a problem, too much worry becomes the problem. Not only does excessive worry create personal suffering, but it also affects the people around the worrier. Worry is a fairly common, but potentially serious, condition. The stress which accompanies worry can have serious physical implications, including an increased risk for blood pressure, heart ailments and immune system deficiencies. Worrying About Things We Can’t Control Most people who worry excessively are well aware of their tendencies, although some simply view it as their normal state of affairs. (Indeed, some people like to worry because they feel that their mind [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Procrastination Hurts Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/procrastination-hurts-relationships-2/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/procrastination-hurts-relationships-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 May 2020 03:14:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIP THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[procrastination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quarantine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4385</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Almost every relationship has been affected by procrastination at one time or another–when one or both partners put responsibilities off to another day or time, only to endlessly delay completing the task at hand. For some people it is a persistent problem, while for others it happens only in certain areas of their lives such as their relationship. It can cause suffering in a committed relationship, when one partner delays or avoids keeping promises or agreements, putting the relationship at risk. And relationships outside the home also requiring teamwork such as friendships; at work and in the community, can suffer. Being unreliable can jeopardize one’s personal reputation, making a partner, friend or coworker lose trust in the procrastinator. There are better ways of dealing with the demands of our everyday lives with needs of our partner, friends and coworkers, once we accept that we are a procrastinator and make a commitment to change. There is a relationship between anxiety and procrastination. It is no surprise that people who fear failure have the problem, as well as people with low self-esteem.  People who are easily frustrated or need instant gratification or cannot concentrate all have difficulty completing tasks. Those who have conflicts with authority figures and are rebellious are inclined to procrastinate. Procrastinators make excuses. When we procrastinate, we are neither carrying out things that need to be done nor are we confronting the underlying reasons for our procrastination. So, what do we tell ourselves to justify our behavior? We may use any of several excuses – and here are some common ones: Getting Bogged Down in Trivia We spend our time on easy tasks and say that we are so busy that we cannot get to the major project. We might answer phone calls, read e-mails, clean the living room, have lunch – anything that we find simple and are emotionally prepared to do – rather than facing the task that we really have to do. We tell ourselves that we simply had to clear up these trivial tasks before tackling our project and there was no time left. Thus, [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Growth During Crisis</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/growth-during-crisis/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/growth-during-crisis/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 Apr 2020 21:35:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crisis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GRIEF & LOSS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PARENTING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change. sudden change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dealing with crisis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[elderly]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[isolation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suicide]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4375</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[For many of us, life as we know it is or soon will be gone, be it socially, professionally or personally. Being aware of and expressing our thoughts and feelings during this crisis is important to our mental and emotional health.  Sudden change often creates anxiety. To help reduce your stress, focus on what you can control; add structure to routines; develop near-term plans (i.e., days or one week out); avoid obsessively watching the news; and talk about your feelings with friends and family. One quick way to calm yourself and stay in the present moment is to do a simple grounding exercise. Pick up an object and concentrate on its weight, shape, color, texture and scent. You can also learn relaxation techniques like mindfulness and meditation through free online apps and eBooks specific to anxiety. Helpful websites include anxiety.org and www.adaa.org. Feelings of grief and loss are also normal. Grief may come out of nowhere, completely consuming you. But you can have some control over your response. For example, you can schedule a specific time for grieving. Then when it strikes, tell yourself “Not now, later.” Then at the specified time allow yourself to grieve. Free online apps and eBooks related to grieving and depression are available. For additional resources go to griefcounselor.org, nami.org and nihm.nih.gov. People who we thought were strong may need our help and emotional support. For example, trauma victims and those with mental illness already have compromised emotional and psychological resources. Additional stress may weaken their existing coping capacity and lead to more symptoms. The effects on children of long-term school closures, social isolation and daily interaction with parents who are now their teachers are unknown, meaning they may also need support. Under stress, it’s normal for kids to regress and act younger.  Once parents determine and address what’s wrong, normal behavior usually returns. Extra reassurance and encouragement are vital to a child’s emotional well-being. One way for parents to help their children feel valuable is to ask what they’re learning at home, from them, about relationships. Resources for helping children include kidsmentalhealth.org and acmh-mi.org. Loving relationships [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>The Resilient Personality – Coping with Chaos and Hardship</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/the-resilient-personality-coping-with-chaos-and-hardship/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/the-resilient-personality-coping-with-chaos-and-hardship/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 31 Mar 2020 18:35:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Crisis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GRIEF & LOSS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chaos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grief and loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hardship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[job loss]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resilience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trauma]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4367</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”                                                                                                – Ralph Waldo Emerson All of us experience major disruptions at certain points in our lives. In fact, this is an expected and predictable hallmark of the human condition. For some, these hard times come frequently – the impact of the trauma is overwhelming and recovery, if it comes at all, can be painfully slow. Others show resilience and are able to glide through these times fairly easily, bouncing back to a normal life again quickly. Resilience – the strength required to adapt to chaos and hardship – lies at the heart of mental and emotional health. Those who have been emotionally, sexually, and physically abused as children, as well as those who have grown up with learning disabilities and attention deficit disorders share  many of the common characteristics of those who have endured traumas later in life, such as war, the loss of a loved one, natural disasters, financial catastrophes, or a major illness. Normal Life Disruption vs. Trauma What has been most interesting in these studies is the finding that some traumatized people – both those with childhood abuse and other challenges, as well as those who experienced life disruptions in adulthood – suffer virtually no ill effects from the trauma. In fact, in many cases they seem to have grown stronger and led more integrated lives. This unexpected finding has guided researchers to explore the nature of resilience. The normal life cycle contains predictable periods of life disruption. For example, when we move from childhood to adolescence, everything we knew about the world goes through a jarring transformation. During this period of life disorganization, our bodies go through tremendous hormonal and developmental changes, our definitions of other people change, our motives and interests change, we learn how to define ourselves as individuals with autonomy, and we expand our range of social relationships. Similar stages of disruption occur when the adolescent moves into young adulthood, and then into a permanent relationship, possible parenting, middle age, and then retirement and [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Sometimes Love Is Not Enough</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/sometimes-love-is-not-enough/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/sometimes-love-is-not-enough/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2020 00:54:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4349</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When we make a commitment to our partner, our usual expectation is that our relationship will last for life and that our love will see us through the inevitable hard times. Yet, when reality sinks in, we have to acknowledge that while love is one of the components of a relationship’s longevity, it really takes more to make it through the long haul. It takes skills that many of us haven&#8217;t learned. We don&#8217;t know how to negotiate our way through relationship difficulties to build a lasting connection, but we can learn. Substantial research over the past several decades has focused on understanding the secrets of why some couples stay together and others don&#8217;t. For instance, John Gottman, Ph.D., at the University of Washington, studied over 2,000 couples, and has had remarkable success in predicting which couples will make it and which will not. One of Gottman’s major findings is that couples who fight are not necessarily on the road to a breakup. In fact, he makes the point that arguments may be constructive in building a long-term relationship because they help us to clarify our needs and increase mutual respect between partners. Other finding showed that increased sex does not necessarily improve a relationship, and that financial problems do not always imply trouble for a couple. But whether the arguments will lead to a breakup or not depends on how the couple resolves its conflicts. There are positive ways to resolve conflicts that may strengthen the relationship. This research also showed that couples are likely to succeed if they have a healthy balance between positive and negative emotions and interactions. Strong relationships have a five to one ratio – five parts positive interaction to one part negative. Couples who break up, on the other hand, tend to have more negative than positive interactions. Positive Behaviors in a Relationship Showing interest in what your partner is saying, Expressing affection to your partner both verbally (“I love you”) and non-verbally (holding hands, doing kind little things), Showing you care – perhaps by making a phone call during the day or bringing [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>No Secrets &#8230; Telling the Truth in Our Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Apr 2019 22:40:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[falling in love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4299</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; When we commit ourselves to a relationship with another person, we rightly expect to experience a sense of fulfillment that we didn’t have before. Humans, as social beings, seem to have a universal desire to find a partner. Sexual attraction often serves as the motivator for making initial contact with the other person, and this is usually replaced over time with a deeper sense of commitment and intimacy. It comes as a terrible disappointment to some people when the sexual phase of their relationship fails to lead in time to something deeper. The task, then, is to understand the forces which block the development of a deeper sense of intimacy – and to do something about it. Fortunately, with some work – and it’s often hard work – couples can learn to move into the stage of deeper sharing and more fulfillment in their relationships. From Excitement to Reality The excitement which comes with entering a new relationship touches us at the core of our being. It influences our thinking, our emotions, and our physical bodies. In some sense it feels like a dream come true. We feel that, finally, the hard years of experiencing the world alone have come to an end. The thing that we have longed for has been achieved. We now have a partner, someone who can share, understand, and appreciate our most private experiences. The world suddenly seems like a happier and more secure place. The beginning stages of a relationship can bring a precious sense of connection – but when that phone call doesn’t come, when a plan goes awry, when the wrong words are spoken, the emotional high can turn swiftly into a feeling of devastation. Being in love can have its down side. Over time the physical stage of the relationship is typically replaced by a period of getting to know more about other aspects of our partner’s personality. Some of these characteristics are endearing to us – and others irritate us. We learn how our partner attends to the demands of everyday life, and we learn that he or she [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Actively Listening &#8211; the Other Half of Effective Communication</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/actively-listening-the-other-half-of-effective-communication/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/actively-listening-the-other-half-of-effective-communication/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Mar 2019 23:41:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PARENTING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[concentration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conversation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[language art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[listening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pay attention]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[understanding]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4274</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[  Active Communication Requires One Person to Talk and the Other to Listen &#8230; and Both to Do Their Parts Well Listening is the other half of communication. Our first thought, when we think about communication, may be to consider the speaker’s ability to convey ideas effectively. What we often forget is that without a listener the speaker may as well be talking to the wind. Just as effective speaking is an acquired skill, so is good listening. Some do it better than others. But all of us can learn to enrich our own listening skills. Think about what happens when you hear someone speak. You pay attention to the person’s appearance, to activity in the background, to what you did earlier in the day, to a conversation you had with someone else, or to your counterargument, and how you will present it. Your mind flits from topic to topic as you take in only fragments of what the other person says. It seems a wonder that people understand each other as well as they do. The speaker conveys only a portion of the real meaning of an intended idea – and the listener may pick up on only a fraction of the information transmitted. We think we know what the speaker was trying to say, but often we are absolutely wrong. Have you ever played the “rumor game” in a large circle? The first person whispers a message to the next in line, and this message goes from person to person until it gets to the end of the circle. Something like “two kittens were playing with a ball of string” easily mutates into “the lion sleeps tonight” as the message is relayed around the circle.) Listening is itself a form of communication Listening to another person sends the message that you care and that you are truly interested in the other person’s ideas. Without the ability to listen effectively, true intimacy and mutual respect between partners, two of the hallmarks of a successful relationship, are not even possible. When you fail to listen to your partner, you may [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Dealing with Controlling People</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/dealing-with-controlling-people/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/dealing-with-controlling-people/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Feb 2019 01:06:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[contolling people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[control]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[integrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[low self esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manipulation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-doubt]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4247</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“If I Win, You Lose” is Not Our Only Option! Control, like most facets of human behavior, is probably best experienced in moderation. At one end of the spectrum, control is a positive, adaptive tool. For example, control over prolonged and constant chaos in our lives is usually a good thing. At the other end, control can be seen as negative. People who are over-controlled to the point of being unable to feel or express emotion can find life’s expected turmoils to be difficult or even impossible to handle. While some control is appropriate, especially when the control is used as a way of adapting to some aspect of our own lives, it can spread out to other people when it’s taken to the extreme &#8230; and sometimes we don’t realize that we end up controlling other people. We sometimes walk a thin line in this regard. Controlling others has the potential to be a highly negative experience, not only for the one controlled, but also for the controller. The Controlling Person&#8217;s Motivation On the surface, we might think of a controlling person as one who is strong, independent, and even a natural born leader. But this is seldom the case. Ask yourself, why would a person need to dominate the actions and feelings of another person? It could be because the controlling person may privately experience a great deal of self-doubt, negativity, and lack of fulfillment. Controllers may be people who lack the tools to achieve personal integrity through their own resources &#8230; but they get a feeling of fulfillment when they can control the behavior of another person. With this thought in mind, we can see the controlling person as one who may be the weak and dependent party in an interaction. And it may be the one who is controlled who actually has more strength – that is, it takes strength to give in to the needs of another person (the controller). Control and Conflict in Relationships We can draw on the strength and energy of another person when we may feel unable to provide for our [&#8230;]]]></description>
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