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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; COUPLES THERAPY</title>
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	<link>https://www.better-relationships.com</link>
	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>No Secrets &#8230; Telling the Truth in Our Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Apr 2019 22:40:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[falling in love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4299</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; When we commit ourselves to a relationship with another person, we rightly expect to experience a sense of fulfillment that we didn’t have before. Humans, as social beings, seem to have a universal desire to find a partner. Sexual attraction often serves as the motivator for making initial contact with the other person, and this is usually replaced over time with a deeper sense of commitment and intimacy. It comes as a terrible disappointment to some people when the sexual phase of their relationship fails to lead in time to something deeper. The task, then, is to understand the forces which block the development of a deeper sense of intimacy – and to do something about it. Fortunately, with some work – and it’s often hard work – couples can learn to move into the stage of deeper sharing and more fulfillment in their relationships. From Excitement to Reality The excitement which comes with entering a new relationship touches us at the core of our being. It influences our thinking, our emotions, and our physical bodies. In some sense it feels like a dream come true. We feel that, finally, the hard years of experiencing the world alone have come to an end. The thing that we have longed for has been achieved. We now have a partner, someone who can share, understand, and appreciate our most private experiences. The world suddenly seems like a happier and more secure place. The beginning stages of a relationship can bring a precious sense of connection – but when that phone call doesn’t come, when a plan goes awry, when the wrong words are spoken, the emotional high can turn swiftly into a feeling of devastation. Being in love can have its down side. Over time the physical stage of the relationship is typically replaced by a period of getting to know more about other aspects of our partner’s personality. Some of these characteristics are endearing to us – and others irritate us. We learn how our partner attends to the demands of everyday life, and we learn that he or she [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>When Your Teen Tells You They’re Gay: Tips on Responding</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/when-your-teen-tells-you-theyre-gay-tips-on-responding/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/when-your-teen-tells-you-theyre-gay-tips-on-responding/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Aug 2018 01:50:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[LGBTQ]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting a gay teen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[your teen's coming out]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4163</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[For many LGBTQ youths, the act of “coming out” to their parents that they are gay is nerve-racking. They may have already told some friends, but coming out to you, their parents, is a whole other matter. Worries about being accepted or loved by you afterwards will probably be on their minds. They may be nervous, anxious, even scared to tell you something that they have kept hidden—perhaps for years. You may very well have a wide range of emotions during these discussions. For obvious reasons, this won’t be an easy conversation for either of you. How you respond to your teen’s revelation is critical. Here are several tips to help you respond sensibly. Listen One of the key things that you can do as a parent is to listen to your teen. This means really listening, as this may well be one of the most important conversations that you will ever have together. Keep in mind that most likely your teen has been working up the courage to have this conversation with you for a while. Give them the space to be heard and get everything off their chest. Some ideas for how to do this include: If you can’t talk when they approach you, negotiate and commit to another time. Remember what you need when you want to be heard. You teen now needs this from you. Stay focused on your teen. Stop what you’re doing; eliminate distractions such as cell phones or the TV. Move to someplace quiet where you won’t be interrupted. Refrain from jumping in or interrupting. Ask them to repeat anything that you don’t understand. As they talk, remember to breathe. Respond Appropriately Your respect for your teen will be vital. If you already suspected or have known that your teen is gay, don’t stop the conversation because of this. Act as if you don’t know. If your teen’s request to talk with you comes as a surprise, it’s important that you don’t overreact. Respond in your normal tone of voice and stay in control of your emotions. If you struggle with what they [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
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		<title>Yes, Sexual Betrayal Can Lead to These PTSD Symptoms!</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/yes-sexual-betrayal-can-lead-to-these-ptsd-symptoms/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/yes-sexual-betrayal-can-lead-to-these-ptsd-symptoms/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Jun 2018 19:30:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GRIEF & LOSS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PTSD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexual betrayal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexual trauma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4111</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; Love is war. So the saying goes goes . That comparison may actually be fitting in connection with something you perhaps haven’t thought of—trauma. It’s no secret that sexual infidelity can be physically harmful and emotionally crushing. A betrayed partner may feel a whole range of devastating emotions and experiences a bewildering variety of bodily symptoms. One moment they feel angry and irritated, the next as if living in a daze where nothing matters. They can’t sleep, they can’t eat. It’s as if they’ve gone crazy. It’s a reaction to the trauma of betrayal. And it’s a very natural response when one feels unsafe and insecure in a relationship. In fact, studies have shown that those who have been sexually betrayed by their partner can suffer such devastating emotional turmoil that they display trauma symptoms very similar to those of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Why? Because the magnitude of a sexual betrayal can be enormous. Like an earthquake, this form of cheating shakes the very foundations of trust within a relationship. The PTSD Symptoms of Sexual Betrayal Consider some of the aftershocks of that blow. 1. Irritability, Rage, and Despair The initial anger and rage over the betrayal often give way to frequent and extreme mood swings. From rapid shifts between rage, hurt, sadness, and hopefulness to excessive emotional outbursts and breaking down in tears. The reactions are usually this intense because it wasn’t just anyone that hurt the victim. They have been betrayed by the person they thought they could count on the most. It’s no wonder that being traumatized in this way causes an enormous range of pain. 2. Avoidance, Feelings of Emptiness, and Emotional Numbness Emotional numbness often follows rage, irritability, and despair. Everything feels hollow and unappealing. Things the victim formerly enjoyed don’t bring them pleasure anymore. Feeling empty and yet feeling a flood emotions, they’ll avoid any reminders of the betrayal, trying to forget the terrible pain. And eventually, they may even withdraw from friends and family, isolating themselves to hide from the emotional upheaval that they can’t control. 3. Flashbacks, Nightmares, and Painful [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to Communicate When You&#8217;re Angry &#8211; (6) Helpful Guidelines</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/how-to-communicate-when-youre-angry-6-helpful-guidelines/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/how-to-communicate-when-youre-angry-6-helpful-guidelines/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 23 May 2018 18:56:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[arguments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[constructive fighting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4078</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[All couples argue. This is normal and an expected part of close relationships. How we conduct ourselves and how we respond to our partner can either enhance the relationship or put it at risk. Consider these guidelines for having constructive arguments with your partner: 1. It is better to be happy together than to be right. Blaming each other and trying to change the other person&#8217;s opinion are both counterproductive. When we assume that one person is right and the other person is wrong, we put the other person who was “wrong” on the defensive. Get out of this right vs. wrong framework together. Accept the fact that you simply see the issue differently. 2. Become aware of your impact on your partner. Arguments start when we say something without realizing how our partner will take it. Your partner may blame you for starting an argument when that is the last thing you had in mind. The goal of relationship therapy is to uncover what people mean when they say things – and what it means when they hear certain things. 3. You can&#8217;t change the past. Although you may feel hurt by something that happened in the past, the only effective option you have is working for better circumstances in the present and in the future. Of course, you may want to talk about things which have bothered you in the past, but holding a grudge usually interferes with the productive resolution of current problems – those things which you can do something about it. Work on one current problem at a time, not a list of things from the past. Discuss the problem as soon as possible and while it is relevant. 4. State your needs as specific request for positive behavior change. It is not helpful to criticize the person&#8217;s character – this simply puts your partner into a defensive stance. Labeling a person with words like “crazy” or “immature” or “slob” does not solve the specific problem you need to address, and it ensures that you will not be heard. These words are only meant to [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How Birth Order Affects Our Behavior and Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/how-birth-order-affects-our-behavior-and-relationships/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/how-birth-order-affects-our-behavior-and-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 May 2018 21:33:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PARENTING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[birth order]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4016</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Researchers have studied the effects of birth order for nearly a century now, but learned only within the past few decades about the influence of birth order on our behavior and the nature of relationships with our partners. We now know that the strategies we learn in childhood for dealing with our parents and siblings has a lasting influence on our behavior, often in ways we barely recognize. Same Home but Worlds Apart If brothers and sisters are raised by the same parents, how do they end up so different? Why does one sibling grow up to be successful academically and professionally but with few friends, while another becomes the athlete with loads of friends? To the degree that one of the siblings is a responsible person, another will be attention-seeking or rebellious. One follows the ways of the parents and another looks outside the family for support. Consider two parents, possibly newly married, who have their first child. Determined to be the best parents in the world, they dote on the child, give the child an abundance of attention, and try to show just how responsible they are. They want to be perfect parents and they want the child to be perfect – and it’s a lesson the child learns well. First- borns often grow up with perfectionist tendencies, and they strive for approval and success in the adult world. The world of the first-born child differs markedly from the second born, and if a third comes along, he or she will carve out territory within the family system that differs from the first two. This is not to say that these patterns are carved in stone – there are always exceptions to the rules. For example, if the first two children are born close together and the third child comes along much later, the last-born may have characteristics resembling the first-born. The second child usually doesn’t get nearly as much attention, and different from the first born, this child often goes outside of the family as they grow up &#8211; the support of their friends becomes more important [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>An Emotional Affair – What It Is and What It Isn’t</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/an-emotional-affair-what-it-is-and-what-it-isnt/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/an-emotional-affair-what-it-is-and-what-it-isnt/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Apr 2018 04:45:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional affair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4007</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You may have heard the term “emotional affair.” Do you understand what it really means? Is it really &#8216;cheating&#8217;? Consider the following: What Is an Emotional Affair? An emotional affair can start off innocently but quickly develop into something more. How so? For instance, imagine that you are in a relationship. You feel satisfied with your partner and vice versa. Then someone new enters your life, or an existing relationship becomes more meaningful to you. For example, you begin to confide in a co-worker about your personal life; about your thoughts and feelings about your life. Soon you begin to look forward to seeing them at the office. You realize that you “click” with this person. You feel open and vulnerable, connected to them in a way that you haven’t felt before, or lately. But instead of talking about these things with your partner, you talk about it with this new person. Even worse, you don’t tell your partner what’s going on. You’ve slowly slipped into an emotional affair. How Is Talking Considered an Affair? Talking with another friend or co-worker is obviously not an emotional affair. It is the level of intimacy involved with the conversation along with the emotions that can make it so. After all, you could easily talk to a friend about a personal topic without having this type of emotional reaction. In fact, you most likely would have already had the same discussion with your partner. But once you begin to have an emotional reaction, like looking forward to seeing the other person, you are no longer simply having a private conversation. Once your feelings are involved, your conversations take on a degree intimacy. And if the other person begins to feel and behave as you do, an emotional bond has formed. When this bond comes into conflict with the bond you’re supposed to have your partner and you keep it a secret, you are having an emotional affair. But I Thought Affairs Were Strictly Sexual! Yes, it’s true that many affairs are sexually-based. However, remember that many who participate in an emotional affair do so [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Self-Compassion: Why it’s Much Harder Than Compassion for Others</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/self-compassion-why-its-much-harder-than-compassion-for-others/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/self-compassion-why-its-much-harder-than-compassion-for-others/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Apr 2018 00:54:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[compassion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self compassion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self help]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4000</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; Do you find it easier to forgive others than yourself? Are you able to accept others’ mistakes but not your own? Practicing self-compassion can actually be very difficult. This is especially true if you learned as a child to care more about others, or if you have a hard time forgiving yourself. People are not born with a loathing for themselves. They learn it from their environment and life experiences. Perhaps this is you. Were you told as a child that you were somehow less-than-worthy? Was this reinforced by your experiences with other people? Sadly, oftentimes it is parents who plant the seeds of these beliefs. The damaged caused only amplifies over the years into adulthood. However, there is a way to mend the situation. What Is Self-Compassion? Self-compassion is a set of practices aimed at being empathetic and affirming to you. In layman’s terms, you could say it’s, “giving yourself a break.” Yet, at the same time, it is much more than that. It encompasses the following attributes: Acceptance: Being OK with who you are—warts and all. Forgiveness: Showing compassion and mercy to yourself for past actions or behavior. Kindness: Treating yourself with love and empathy. Understanding: Having an awareness of how you think and act—and why. As a whole, self-compassion sounds like a pretty good thing. It’s very similar to showing compassion to someone else. Yet, why is it often so hard for us to practice self-compassion, even when we have no problem extending it to others? Consider some of these possibilities: Having Impossibly High Standards for Yourself One reason why it is hard to have self-compassion is that you may have really high standards for yourself. Now, on the one hand, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Everyone should strive to be their personal best. Yet, we all experience setbacks, too. There are times when we even fail. You may be someone for whom a failure becomes a personal crisis. For you, failure is not an option. Yet, this kind of thinking isn’t realistic. Everyone has weak moments from time-to-time. The important point of failure is: [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Myths and Facts</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/once-a-cheater-always-a-cheater-myths-and-facts/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/once-a-cheater-always-a-cheater-myths-and-facts/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Apr 2018 22:31:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheater]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional affair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infidelitiy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[online affair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unfaithful]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3990</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Clearly, whenever you’ve been cheated on, there are many feelings that arise. However, some of these emotions could be based on myths about those who cheat. And that can cause you to make decisions based on faulty information. If you are trying to cope with a partner’s infidelity, get the facts and reject the myths. Myth: “My partner cheated, which means they don’t love me anymore.” FACT: In reality, many people who cheat report that they did not cheat just because the relationship was bad. It is completely possible that despite your partner&#8217;s infidelity, they still feel very strongly toward you. In fact, their reasoning behind the affair may have had nothing to do with how they feel about you and much more about how they feel about themselves. Myth: “People who cheat once will cheat again.” FACT: That kind of thinking only sets up your partner to fail again. Yes, they made a mistake. But that doesn’t mean they are doomed to make it again. Everyone has the capacity to make decisions that affect their future. Your partner made a poor decision for your relationship by cheating. However, what they do afterward can mean a lot. You can see their attitude, for example, if: Your partner takes responsibility for their behavior and thee pain it&#8217;s caused. They sincerely apologize and asks for forgiveness. They have permanently cut all ties to the other person. Your partner wants to participate in therapy with you. They make an earnest and sincere effort to repair your relationship. Myth: “If I stay, our relationship will always be defined by the affair.” FACT: Certainly, the affair will have an immediate impact on the relationship. A major factor is trust. With any affair, the wounded partner will feel a loss of trust to the other. Yet, the cheating does not have to define the relationship in the long-term. If both of you want to make things right it will take a lot of work and commitment to change. For your partner, this means putting in a sincere effort to rebuild the lost trust. Of course, this [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>The Positive Impact of Premarital Counseling – 7 Ways Your Relationship Can Benefit</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/the-positive-impact-of-premarital-counseling-7-ways-your-relationship-can-benefit/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/the-positive-impact-of-premarital-counseling-7-ways-your-relationship-can-benefit/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Mar 2018 01:38:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FINANCES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIP THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[premarital counseling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wedding plans]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3957</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Many couples consider premarital counseling as something for those who really don’t know what they want out of a marriage. Yet, that is far from the truth. In reality, premarital counseling should be a prerequisite for any couple looking to get married. How can it benefit and strengthen your relationship? #1: Refining Communication Skills Knowing how to communicate effectively is a never-ending challenge in most aspects of life. Even for people who are already experienced communicators, marriage poses its unique communication challenges. Some potential problem areas include: Listening Skills: While your partner can repeat what you just said, you still don’t feel that they heard you. Can you openly discuss your ideas, thoughts and feelings without being criticized? Do you have effective conflict resolution skills? Do you keep fighting about the same thing? Do you fight fair? What topics do you agree on and what do you fight about? Do you expect your partner to know what you’re thinking or feeling? (aka ‘mind-reading’) #2: Aligning Your Outlooks on Life Premarital counseling helps partners determine if their overall goals and outlooks on marriage are, in general, compatible and if not, is change feasible? Things to consider include: Lifestyle differences: Talk together about this example: One partner is energetic, socially active and fantasizes about running for public office. The other partner is more introverted and prefers a much quieter lifestyle. Could this couple be happy together? Are you both willing to accommodate the other’s points of view? What will happen if she or he cannot change? Who has more influence now and does this need to change after marriage? How are decisions made? Do you enjoy some of the same activities? If not, are you willing to try to participate in what your partner enjoys? Are both of you content with the amount of time you have to relax? Are you free to spend some time apart and enjoy your own friends and hobbies? Is your partner responsible for your happiness, and if so, how will he or she do that? The dating process helps with sorting out some of these issues. [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>When She Earns More Money Than Him – How Will The Relationship Be Affected?</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/when-she-earns-more-money-than-him-how-will-the-relationship-be-affected/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/when-she-earns-more-money-than-him-how-will-the-relationship-be-affected/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 06 Mar 2018 02:44:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FINANCES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE COUNSELING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SALARY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family finances]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[household income]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[investments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[power struggles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[salary]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.better-relationships.com/?p=3952</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When it comes to who the breadwinner is in the family, times are changing. According to the Pew Research Center, in 1960, 11% of American families had a woman as the primary wage earner. Today, that number has climbed to 40%. This change in gender roles can have an impact on relationships. How so? A New World but Old Egos Remain In the modern world, many aspects of society that were considered “traditional” have been upended. Often, this is for the better. Interestingly, though, many men hold onto old notions of what it means to be the primary breadwinner. Even if they have forward-thinking views on other issues, this particular matter may still hold fast. Why? It is because many men are holding onto older concepts of what it is to be a man. Plus, ego comes into play. Regardless of gender, jobs and how much money one earns are connected to ego. Work becomes a significant factor for how one defines themselves as a person. Defining Your Own Relationship It is important for couples to focus more on what is important for their relationship rather than societal conventions. Feeling that you have to fit into some kind of mold or strict definition can only cause stress in the relationship. Rather, sit down together and have an honest dialogue. Especially, discuss finances and how they affect your household. Remember, one of the major causes couples cite when it comes to divorce is disagreeing about money. Creating an Equal Relationship When ‘she’ makes more money than ‘he’ does, one of the issues that arise is the perceived difference in power. ‘He’ can feel he has less power when ‘she’ makes significantly more money. This is particularly true when it comes to making financial decisions. However, when partners openly discuss their concerns, it&#8217;s easier to: agree on who pays which household bills divide chores in a way that is equitable for both partners make major financial decisions, such as home buying or investments, together. Of course, both partners want to be able to contribute to the success of the household and the [&#8230;]]]></description>
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