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	<title>Better Relationships &#187; ARGUMENTS</title>
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	<link>https://www.better-relationships.com</link>
	<description>Marriage &#38; Couples Counseling, Psychotherapy, Premarital Counseling</description>
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		<title>Worry, Worry</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/worry-worry/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/worry-worry/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Sep 2020 22:24:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ADDICTIONS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to manage worry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[OCD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PTSD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[worry]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4394</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It’s a good thing that almost all of us worry. Think of worry as a built-in alarm device. When it is used wisely, it alerts us to danger and prompts us to navigate our way through a maze of solutions to life’s various problems. We need to think through our options when we are faced with problems, weighing the benefits and pitfalls of each alternative, and then come up with the best solution. From there we take action which, we hope, solves the problem. Worry is helpful when it is used at the right time and at the right level for resolving our difficulties. Like many things in life, however, too little worry, or too much of it, can be harmful. Too Little Too little worry can result in impulsive decisions which may result in unfortunate consequences. Indeed, some people are high risk-takers who may not worry enough about problems – they may win, but just as often, they lose. Others avoid worry through substance abuse or other addictive behaviors and then lack the motivation and insight to deal realistically with life’s expected problems. Similarly, a laid-back, come-what-may approach, while it has some merits, sometimes suggests passivity and a lack of ability to participate in the complexities of life&#8217;s experiences. Too Much As we all know, some people worry too much. Rather than solving a problem, too much worry becomes the problem. Not only does excessive worry create personal suffering, but it also affects the people around the worrier. Worry is a fairly common, but potentially serious, condition. The stress which accompanies worry can have serious physical implications, including an increased risk for blood pressure, heart ailments and immune system deficiencies. Worrying About Things We Can’t Control Most people who worry excessively are well aware of their tendencies, although some simply view it as their normal state of affairs. (Indeed, some people like to worry because they feel that their mind [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Procrastination Hurts Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/procrastination-hurts-relationships-2/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/procrastination-hurts-relationships-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 May 2020 03:14:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DEPRESSION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIP THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[procrastination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quarantine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4385</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Almost every relationship has been affected by procrastination at one time or another–when one or both partners put responsibilities off to another day or time, only to endlessly delay completing the task at hand. For some people it is a persistent problem, while for others it happens only in certain areas of their lives such as their relationship. It can cause suffering in a committed relationship, when one partner delays or avoids keeping promises or agreements, putting the relationship at risk. And relationships outside the home also requiring teamwork such as friendships; at work and in the community, can suffer. Being unreliable can jeopardize one’s personal reputation, making a partner, friend or coworker lose trust in the procrastinator. There are better ways of dealing with the demands of our everyday lives with needs of our partner, friends and coworkers, once we accept that we are a procrastinator and make a commitment to change. There is a relationship between anxiety and procrastination. It is no surprise that people who fear failure have the problem, as well as people with low self-esteem.  People who are easily frustrated or need instant gratification or cannot concentrate all have difficulty completing tasks. Those who have conflicts with authority figures and are rebellious are inclined to procrastinate. Procrastinators make excuses. When we procrastinate, we are neither carrying out things that need to be done nor are we confronting the underlying reasons for our procrastination. So, what do we tell ourselves to justify our behavior? We may use any of several excuses – and here are some common ones: Getting Bogged Down in Trivia We spend our time on easy tasks and say that we are so busy that we cannot get to the major project. We might answer phone calls, read e-mails, clean the living room, have lunch – anything that we find simple and are emotionally prepared to do – rather than facing the task that we really have to do. We tell ourselves that we simply had to clear up these trivial tasks before tackling our project and there was no time left. Thus, [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Sometimes Love Is Not Enough</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/sometimes-love-is-not-enough/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/sometimes-love-is-not-enough/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2020 00:54:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4349</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When we make a commitment to our partner, our usual expectation is that our relationship will last for life and that our love will see us through the inevitable hard times. Yet, when reality sinks in, we have to acknowledge that while love is one of the components of a relationship’s longevity, it really takes more to make it through the long haul. It takes skills that many of us haven&#8217;t learned. We don&#8217;t know how to negotiate our way through relationship difficulties to build a lasting connection, but we can learn. Substantial research over the past several decades has focused on understanding the secrets of why some couples stay together and others don&#8217;t. For instance, John Gottman, Ph.D., at the University of Washington, studied over 2,000 couples, and has had remarkable success in predicting which couples will make it and which will not. One of Gottman’s major findings is that couples who fight are not necessarily on the road to a breakup. In fact, he makes the point that arguments may be constructive in building a long-term relationship because they help us to clarify our needs and increase mutual respect between partners. Other finding showed that increased sex does not necessarily improve a relationship, and that financial problems do not always imply trouble for a couple. But whether the arguments will lead to a breakup or not depends on how the couple resolves its conflicts. There are positive ways to resolve conflicts that may strengthen the relationship. This research also showed that couples are likely to succeed if they have a healthy balance between positive and negative emotions and interactions. Strong relationships have a five to one ratio – five parts positive interaction to one part negative. Couples who break up, on the other hand, tend to have more negative than positive interactions. Positive Behaviors in a Relationship Showing interest in what your partner is saying, Expressing affection to your partner both verbally (“I love you”) and non-verbally (holding hands, doing kind little things), Showing you care – perhaps by making a phone call during the day or bringing [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Being Assertive</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/being-assertive/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/being-assertive/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 05 Aug 2019 23:43:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aggressive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[assertiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dealing with insults]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-assertion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-esteem]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4331</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you ever heard yourself say, “I’m a nice person. I’m a polite person. I’d never intentionally do anything to hurt anybody. So why don’t other people give me the respect I deserve?” The problem could well be due to a difficulty with assertion. Maybe you aren’t showing your nice, polite, and respectful qualities to other people. Unless they can see who you truly are, underneath it all, other people might not know how you expect to be treated. And this can lead to some unhappy experiences. At the heart of assertion (also known as assertiveness) is your ability to know who you are and what you stand for – and then to express these qualities effectively in everyday interactions with other people. Expressing yourself effectively involves maintaining respect for the rights and feelings of others. Assertion is not aggression. People who are assertive know that they can deal with the world much more effectively if they do not resort to violence or other aggressive responses. In many ways, assertiveness is the exact opposite of aggression – assertion enhances constructive communication and cooperation between people, while aggression shuts it down. And assertion is not manipulation. Most people are aware, at some level, when they are being manipulated – which can lead to distrust and a lack of respect, for both parties. Manipulation involves hiding behind a mask. Assertion means tearing off the mask and happily announcing to the world who you truly are. Assertion is reality-tested freedom. We see instances of non-assertive behavior around us every day. Most people who lack an assertive style are simply those who want to keep the peace. For the most part, they want goodness and cooperation between people. However, they often pay a high price for this in terms of functioning effectively in the world. There are negative consequences associated with the non-assertive style. For example, those who are not assertive allow their feelings and boundaries to be violated by others. They believe that they do not have the right to their own feelings, beliefs or opinions – and even if they do, they [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>No Secrets &#8230; Telling the Truth in Our Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/no-secrets-telling-the-truth-in-our-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Apr 2019 22:40:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COUPLES THERAPY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[falling in love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4299</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; When we commit ourselves to a relationship with another person, we rightly expect to experience a sense of fulfillment that we didn’t have before. Humans, as social beings, seem to have a universal desire to find a partner. Sexual attraction often serves as the motivator for making initial contact with the other person, and this is usually replaced over time with a deeper sense of commitment and intimacy. It comes as a terrible disappointment to some people when the sexual phase of their relationship fails to lead in time to something deeper. The task, then, is to understand the forces which block the development of a deeper sense of intimacy – and to do something about it. Fortunately, with some work – and it’s often hard work – couples can learn to move into the stage of deeper sharing and more fulfillment in their relationships. From Excitement to Reality The excitement which comes with entering a new relationship touches us at the core of our being. It influences our thinking, our emotions, and our physical bodies. In some sense it feels like a dream come true. We feel that, finally, the hard years of experiencing the world alone have come to an end. The thing that we have longed for has been achieved. We now have a partner, someone who can share, understand, and appreciate our most private experiences. The world suddenly seems like a happier and more secure place. The beginning stages of a relationship can bring a precious sense of connection – but when that phone call doesn’t come, when a plan goes awry, when the wrong words are spoken, the emotional high can turn swiftly into a feeling of devastation. Being in love can have its down side. Over time the physical stage of the relationship is typically replaced by a period of getting to know more about other aspects of our partner’s personality. Some of these characteristics are endearing to us – and others irritate us. We learn how our partner attends to the demands of everyday life, and we learn that he or she [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Actively Listening &#8211; the Other Half of Effective Communication</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/actively-listening-the-other-half-of-effective-communication/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/actively-listening-the-other-half-of-effective-communication/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Mar 2019 23:41:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PARENTING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[concentration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conversation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[language art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[listening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pay attention]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[understanding]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4274</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[  Active Communication Requires One Person to Talk and the Other to Listen &#8230; and Both to Do Their Parts Well Listening is the other half of communication. Our first thought, when we think about communication, may be to consider the speaker’s ability to convey ideas effectively. What we often forget is that without a listener the speaker may as well be talking to the wind. Just as effective speaking is an acquired skill, so is good listening. Some do it better than others. But all of us can learn to enrich our own listening skills. Think about what happens when you hear someone speak. You pay attention to the person’s appearance, to activity in the background, to what you did earlier in the day, to a conversation you had with someone else, or to your counterargument, and how you will present it. Your mind flits from topic to topic as you take in only fragments of what the other person says. It seems a wonder that people understand each other as well as they do. The speaker conveys only a portion of the real meaning of an intended idea – and the listener may pick up on only a fraction of the information transmitted. We think we know what the speaker was trying to say, but often we are absolutely wrong. Have you ever played the “rumor game” in a large circle? The first person whispers a message to the next in line, and this message goes from person to person until it gets to the end of the circle. Something like “two kittens were playing with a ball of string” easily mutates into “the lion sleeps tonight” as the message is relayed around the circle.) Listening is itself a form of communication Listening to another person sends the message that you care and that you are truly interested in the other person’s ideas. Without the ability to listen effectively, true intimacy and mutual respect between partners, two of the hallmarks of a successful relationship, are not even possible. When you fail to listen to your partner, you may [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Dealing with Controlling People</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/dealing-with-controlling-people/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/dealing-with-controlling-people/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Feb 2019 01:06:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SEX]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[contolling people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[control]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[integrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[low self esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manipulation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-doubt]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4247</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“If I Win, You Lose” is Not Our Only Option! Control, like most facets of human behavior, is probably best experienced in moderation. At one end of the spectrum, control is a positive, adaptive tool. For example, control over prolonged and constant chaos in our lives is usually a good thing. At the other end, control can be seen as negative. People who are over-controlled to the point of being unable to feel or express emotion can find life’s expected turmoils to be difficult or even impossible to handle. While some control is appropriate, especially when the control is used as a way of adapting to some aspect of our own lives, it can spread out to other people when it’s taken to the extreme &#8230; and sometimes we don’t realize that we end up controlling other people. We sometimes walk a thin line in this regard. Controlling others has the potential to be a highly negative experience, not only for the one controlled, but also for the controller. The Controlling Person&#8217;s Motivation On the surface, we might think of a controlling person as one who is strong, independent, and even a natural born leader. But this is seldom the case. Ask yourself, why would a person need to dominate the actions and feelings of another person? It could be because the controlling person may privately experience a great deal of self-doubt, negativity, and lack of fulfillment. Controllers may be people who lack the tools to achieve personal integrity through their own resources &#8230; but they get a feeling of fulfillment when they can control the behavior of another person. With this thought in mind, we can see the controlling person as one who may be the weak and dependent party in an interaction. And it may be the one who is controlled who actually has more strength – that is, it takes strength to give in to the needs of another person (the controller). Control and Conflict in Relationships We can draw on the strength and energy of another person when we may feel unable to provide for our [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>When She’s Smarter Than Him: How Intellectual Incompatibility Affects Relationships</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/when-shes-smarter-than-him-how-intellectual-incompatibility-affects-relationships/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/when-shes-smarter-than-him-how-intellectual-incompatibility-affects-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Oct 2018 19:56:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[CONFLICT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[compatibilty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[compatible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intelligence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[IQ]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[knowledge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leaning]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4187</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; When you think about compatibility, what comes to mind? Obviously having similar interests is important, such as what you like to do for fun. Another aspect often is having similar life goals and whether or not you are both on the same journey together. However, did you ever consider how intellectual incompatibility could affect your relationship? It’s not simply a stand-alone issue. In fact, intellectual incompatibility can influence other areas of relationship compatibility. If you are finding yourself struggling with your relationship, it may be that you need to consider whether you and your partner are intellectually compatible. What Is Intellectual Compatibility? Intellectual compatibility means that both you and your partner align when it comes to one another’s knowledge and intellectual capacity. Merriam-Webster considers the definition of intelligence to be “the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations.” Now take a moment to consider that. Intelligence is more than simply passing tests or even earning a college degree. The three key words to take away from that definition are: learn, understand, and deal. And those words are much more relevant to the success of a relationship than whether one person is smarter than the other. Learning Matters in Relationships Believe it or not, the ability to learn is critical to relationship success. Granted, everyone has different styles of learning. Maybe you are more of a “hands-on” learner, while your partner learns best from reading. We all share traits of the three major learning styles: visual, kinesthetic, and auditory. And that’s not a problem. What actually matters about learning is: Your willingness to learn, grow, and improve yourself Your capacity to apply that learning to your life So, if you and your partner have different perspectives on learning, then there may be a relationship mismatch. Also, if one of you isn’t willing to learn at all, then how can you both be able to grow together in a relationship? After all, learning about one another is key to creating a strong relationship bond. Understanding One Another When you and your partner learn something new about [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>When Your Mother-in-Law moves In: Tips for a Peaceful Coexistence</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/when-your-mother-in-law-moves-in-tips-for-a-peaceful-coexistence/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/when-your-mother-in-law-moves-in-tips-for-a-peaceful-coexistence/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 11 Sep 2018 00:09:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMUNICATION]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MARRIAGE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WOMEN'S ISSUES]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[in-laws]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living with your mother-in-law]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mother-in-law]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4180</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; Ready or not—your mother-in-law has moved in. Of course, you already had a busy household with kids, activities, and work. Now a whole new dynamic is being added to the mix as you take on the role of caregiver for your relative. This can either be a time of joy or dread, depending on your outlook. However, it doesn’t have to be a negative experience. You can make this an opportunity to not only aid an aging parent, but also strengthen your family as well. Consider some ideas for maintaining a peaceful coexistence when your mother-in-law moves in. Make a Plan before the Move-In Even before your mother-in-law moves in, start making a plan. Remember, people in general are less likely to do something they are hesitant to do if they are forced or told to do so. So, if possible, actively include your mother-in-law in the planning process. By including her in the process, she has a stake in the outcome. And that will help her feel empowered and that she has more ownership over the move and the situation. Some things to consider before your mother-in-law moves in include: Downsizing possessions and selling her home Making sure financial affairs are in order Preparing your home for your mother-in-law (making bathrooms and stairways safe) Ensuring her medical need are cared for Give Your Mother-in-Law Her Own Space Another tip for peaceful coexistence is to ensure your mother-in-law has her own space in your home. This could be as simple as a bedroom to a full-on apartment, depending on the layout of your home. The key is that it is her space to do as she sees fit. That includes furnishing, decorating, etc. Again, this will help your mother-in-law to feel that she has ownership over her situation and that she feels comfortable, too. Explain Your Expectations As with any new living situation, it’s important for everyone to know the expectations for coexisting together. For example, if you work from home, communicate with your mother-in-law there are times when you need to focus and be free from distractions. When laying out expectations include [&#8230;]]]></description>
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		<title>Relationship Restoration: How to Forgive and Reconcile After an Affair</title>
		<link>https://www.better-relationships.com/relationship-restoration-how-to-forgive-and-reconcile-after-an-affair/</link>
		<comments>https://www.better-relationships.com/relationship-restoration-how-to-forgive-and-reconcile-after-an-affair/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jun 2018 00:36:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Jim Swaniger]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ARGUMENTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[COMMITMENT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FORGIVENESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[INFIDELITY]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RELATIONSHIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emotional affairs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to save my relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trust in relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.better-relationships.com/?p=4128</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Words that describe reconciliation include &#8216;repair&#8217;, &#8216;heal&#8217;, &#8216;fix&#8217; &#8216;rebuild&#8217; and &#8216;restore&#8217;. Sometimes these terms even have a place at the international level, when two or more countries in conflict can find reconciliation after a war. The same can be said for partners whose relationship has been rocked by an affair. “War” may seem to be a strong word to apply to this situation. But just as in war, infidelity involves people who have very different perspectives. Despite having ongoing differences and difficulty, it is possible for couples to find forgiveness and reconcile after an affair. Here&#8217;s how this can happen: Be Honest with Each Other First, regardless of who was unfaithful, be honest with yourself and your partner if you have decided to, or you are considering leaving the relationship. Assuming neither of you wants to end the relationship, mutual honesty is vital. If you are the one who cheated, you need to be honest with your partner about what happened. Along with disclosing everything (except for the &#8216;gory sexual details&#8217;) that happened between you and the outside person, you must answer your partner&#8217;s questions quickly and to their full satisfaction. Of course, this won&#8217;t be easy for you, but your discomfort is very minor compared to how your partner is feeling. Your partner is likely to be in tremendous pain and it would be normal for them to ask you the same questions over and over again, as though they can&#8217;t remember what you&#8217;ve already said. The fact is, if your partner was traumatized by the betrayal, they may not be capable of remembering. So your partner will need to hear you answer the same question again and again. If you were betrayed, you need to be honest and open about your thoughts and feelings. Avoid the mistake of tying to bury what&#8217;s on your mind because it will be harder to express it later, plus you may forget something important. Don&#8217;t worry about being annoying or a burden to your partner. Rather, you need to be frank about how the affair has affected you. Be assertive about expressing your thoughts [&#8230;]]]></description>
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